Sinister: Crying on the inside, but also the outside and in between

[chris lampinen]

Hi babydolls.

I've been carefully counting my posts since sinister first started and 
tonight is a big night for me.  Yes, it's true-- this is my 100th post.  
Break out the finest orange juice! Pony rides for everyone! Hooray for 
Christiaan!  I can't believe it's been so long.  It seems like just 
yesterday that I was popping out of the nursery for my first post.  Oh, how 
the time flies!

I woke up this morning and it seemed like any other day.  I live in a very 
large house with my parents and two sisters.  We are quite wealthy and 
everyone has an individual servant.  I leaned over from my bed for my 
english muffin and tea (served in a silver kettle mind you) and found to my 
dismay-- strawberry jam!  EVERYone knows that I prefer rasberry.  I calmy 
called for my servent who pranced into the room.

"Yes, Princess Christiaan, what do you desire?"
"Your hot sexy body on top of me and naked, NOW!"

No I didn't really say that.

"I would like to listen to Belle and Sebastian on the stereo, please."
"Yes, Princess, what you desire shall be done."
"Well in that case, I'd like some sweaty luvins, baby!

No not really

"Thank you, Jonathan."
He put on "If You're Feeling Sinister." On vinyl, of course, as any princess 
would have.
"Is there anything else you would like, Princess?"
"No, that will be all. Thank you love."
He started to walk away.  As soon as his back was turned I threw the kettle 
at him.  Direct hit to the back of the head.  He fell over, bleeding.
"Excuse me, but when did I ask you to start putting strawberry jam on my 
english muffin?  What? I can't hear you, Jonathan (note that he had passed 
out so this was quite a witty thing to say).  Oh, I must not have asked you 
to then!  Serves you right you bastard!"

Since when did the right flavor of jam become too much to ask?  Life is 
indeed harsh.
I wanted to have Jonathan executed but Pappy would have none of it.  
Speaking of Pappy:

When I was a wee princess my closest friend gave me a glass unicorn as a 
gift.  I loved the unicorn; I felt that it alone could make me happy.  
Pappy, unfortunately, did not feel the same.  Laughing, he would take the 
unicorn and place it on top of the fridge, teetering over the edge.
Teetering,
teetering,
te
  et
    er
      in
        g
(please note diagonal text and repetition for emphasis)

(note extra space to build tension)

He would then go to the dining hall for pints, the bastard.  Anyway.
I would stand, staring, waiting for one of the following:
1) Pappy would come back and give me my unicorn, and I would be happy.
2) The unicorn would come tumbling down and shatter on the floor.
3) The unicorn would stay there, forever, as I would.

My life hasn't changed much since then.

So.  I hope you are all rejoicing over my 100th post as I would be if it was 
yours.  I love you all dearly.  And please remember: life can be difficult, 
even for a princess.  Love everyone.

xoxoxoxo

With love and love,
Your Princess Christi-aan

Big upz to Joan of Dark for finally coming to #sinster and being nice and 
charming and other things like that.

Shout out to Marie Elia; I'll give you some words as soon as I find them

Phat greetz to Michelle from Ann Arbor; you will take my record shopping, 
miss, you will: I *am* a princess after all

Finally mad luvins to You, dear sinisterine, for being a lovely person.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"Mutha fuck D/mutha fuck M/only X I know is Xzibit or RBX"
-Kurupt

"But I won't cry for yesterday/there's an ordinary world/somehow I have to 
find"
-Duran Duran

"I've been searchin' in the woods/and high up on the hills/just to find, to 
find my samurai"
-SMILE.dk                                                  PLUR
                                                 /|xoxo christiaan xoxo|\
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
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