Sinister: Paris, Dublin, Hanover, Dundee, Humberside, London, New York, Rotheram

[Alasdair Cook MC1996]

There's not much difference between snails and slugs, apart from the
fact that snails have to lug their houses about with them everywhere.
Are slugs just snails who have lost their houses, perhaps in some kind
of slimy, very slow accident? Or maybe they've had them taken away by
the council. Either way, they're going to be cold this winter.

Chicken are good, the way they lay eggs and that. Like shitting a melon,
that's how someone once described having a baby. I wouldn't want to do
it twice, no siree. That's the thing about kids, full of surprises.
Little bleeders, look what they've done to my good pot-plant, I tell
you, when I get my hand on them their lives won't be worth

Find a penny, pick it up, all day long you'll have good luck. Bollocks.
In my day if you picked up a penny you'd be called a jew. Why, I have no
idea . "Jew; not 'did you'; Jew. I'm telling you..."

Weather wise, things are strange. Cold cold. Hot hot. Or at least
lukewarm. I can't see properly out of one eye. It's giving me headaches.
It will cost 40 pounds to fix this. Do I have 40 pounds? Technically,
yes, but's that's not to say that I 


In the disjointed, fading light...

Curtains are strange, aren't they? You close them when it gets dark.
Surely that only makes things darker, unless you have one of those fancy
electronic lamps I've heard about. Modern life is sluggish.

Walking downhill backwards, talking to you...

Trying to make sense of life is like trying to climb a hill. Time
consuming and tiring. Of course it's all worth it if you've an egg to
roll down. Painted pink and any other colour of your choice.

Tell me Easter's on a Friday...

Surprises are sometimes good, of course. Like when you get something you
didn't know you didn't want until now. Another one to tick off the list.
Just smile and say something predictable. Or something unpredictable,
but in a predictable way.

Naturally morning came, and all the news had changed...

Sorry for wasting whatever time you have left.

Alasdair Cook is rather like an ill-fitting door. Slightly unhinged. xx
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