Sinister: our hearts are just made out of strings..

[Tigerxdare at xxx.com]

 hello everybody,
 
       oh what a crazy time it has been lately. i have been listening to b&s 
non-stop lately. i think its because even though i always loved them, after 
the new album came out it sort of rekindled the fire for me. it made then new 
to me all over again. i've been trying to listen to them and forget about all 
my problems. i am obbsessed with the model... 
       i've gotten myself into quite a mess with the boys. for  a couple 
months i didnt date a single sole, now i am dating two boys at once. i didnt 
mean for it to happen. it just sort of did. i think they would both be really 
mad at me if they knew this, so should i just keep quiet about it and 
continue to see both of them? or maybe should i pick one? im afraid to decide 
on one, because maybe i will get sick of him and then i wont have the other 
one around anymore. (i dont know why but it seems like after i date them for 
a short time i almost inevitably get sick of them, which is sort of ironic 
because i always dream about having a boyfriend who i love and have a 
commitment with, yet it seems like after about 5 dates i am ready to move 
on)..anyhow i know this sounds horribly selfish, but theres got to be people 
on this list who have been in this situation before. i dont understand why 
when you are alone and not seeing anybody it seems as if you will never meet 
anyone, but then once you start seeing someone suddenly all these people who 
like you start coming out of the woodwork.
      poor jen, i felt so bad for her at the poor old persons home. i hate 
going to them, the smell of piss permeates every single section of the 
building. it sounds like you have alot to put up with there jen. you should 
look for a new job. ive had lots of jobs and i think that my favorite job 
that ive had is a barista at a small little cafe. for some reason i always 
imagine the uk as having all sorts of these quaint little places, as oppossed 
to the corporate coffee generic places in america. finding work isnt that 
hard, i should know since i seem to have a new job every week. the hard part 
is finding your niche. but keep at it i am sure you will find something. 
     i heard the new radiohead and i think it is brilliant...
    and finally, is anyone in the philadelphia region going to see godspeed 
you black emperor next tuesday? if so let me know. 

xoxo,
             lauren*
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