Sinister: hot tiddies for ye tricksters

[lisa morrison]

yes well...
steven kado is apparently having some trouble in the way of halloween 
costumes (how depressing)...of course, if i had any fab ideas i would be a 
clever chicken and keep them to myself so i could be the belle of the 
proverbial ball...however, (sad)lisa (says) will not be attending any 
frightening-type bashes this blessed hallow's eve because "for christ's sake 
lisa, we need you at the bar!...oh and by the way be sure to wear the 
sexyist (aka most condescending) costume that catty body of yrs can fit 
into...yr a doll hun- think of the tips. and the lager keg kicked so can you 
change it before you leave?" fab. all i need are people who are more drunk 
than me (disturbing point number 1) putting their slimy little hands up my 
skirt(disturbing point number 2) and demanding that i buy their table shots 
of jack daniels because they are so irrestistabley handsome (disturbing 
points number 3 and 4) and could i please perform at least one lap dance 
before i go and get their beer (obviously number 5)...pish....
anyhow i thoughts that i would give mr. kado a few tips on what NOT to do to 
make up for my own lack of creativity:
1) do not appear as a mummy, fully wrapped in swaddling cloth and proceed to 
light yrself on fire riding down main street on a skateboard.
2) try to avoid going as any piece of furniture. i was a love seat last year 
and  after passing out on the floor an extremely intoxicated couple 
proceeded to have sex on me...the culprit in #1 also  almost lit me on 
fire...
3) any paint on the skin is bad news for two reasons:
       a)most is not completely removable...imagine the horrors of the 
morning after...not only a massive hangover, but pink tinted skin...people 
ould think you were a crazed pink panther fan...this i also learned from 
experience however i will not share for fear of loosing all dignity...(yes- 
it is worse than the love seat incident)
       b) its flamable
4)beware of being completely naked under any costume especially paperbags 
and saran wrap. you, most likely, will spend the night naked on the front 
lawn of the chi alpha chi fraternity house...were they are having a bon-fire 
in light of the festivities...
5)this has nothing to do with fire, but if you turn up at a party as 
morrissey than you will (mark my words) get beat up either on the way to the 
party, at the party, on yr way home from the party, or all of the above...
i would suggest going as a candy cane. it is very eroctic and all you have 
to do is strategically place yr red and white...
now if you will excuse me. i am off to the barracks...some girl kissed me 
this weekend and now she is coming over. tisk. must devise strategy to 
escape. damn. oh hell-fuck. yes fuck...........damn. -lisa


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