Sinister: We Still Prey

[Laura Llew]

Trick or Treat!

Really, I shouldn't give you the choice since the last thing I need is a 
repuation for turning tricks. (Actually, with as dull as my personal life is 
that might be exactly what I need. My journal has turned into valium in 
print.)

Yesterday, I was in # Sinister and asked that kittenmouse radio, Angelic 
Andrea, what she was going as for Halloween. Her Reply?
"Nothing." Nothing!! Can you imagine that? She said that she didn't have 
enough time to come up with something creative. Oh the shame! The problem is 
is that almost everyone I ask says the same thing. (Of course, I haven't 
asked Chris Lampien - who I'm sure will be undressing this year for 
Halloween -- and every other day.) Being the helpful lass I am, I have come 
up with a classic Laura Llew List to help you with all of your last minute 
Halloween Costume Ideas. Break it down for me boyz!

             Laura Llew's Lovely List Of La La La
         (hey, I didn't want to ruin my alliteration)

5. Safety pin a couple of random socks and a dryer sheet or two to your 
shirt. Ta- Da: You are STATIC CLING. Minimal effort and yet you look clever.

4. This one I like because I get to bring my parasole because if you go as a 
DENNY'S CUSTOMER anything goes. Of course, it is hard to fake nicotine 
stained teeth. I was reading the Belle and Sebastian Top Ten Lists and 
someone listed Dennys as a good place to people watch.  They said, "My uncle 
once refused to go to Denny's because it was not three A.M. and he wasn't 
drunk. I think that says it all." And I do too.

3. For the ladies: roll yourself in flour and go as a BATTERED WOMAN.
Ouch! Don't hit me; It was Brier's idea.

2. Dress up like a beauty queen except you'll be the QUEEN OF BROCCOLI. A 
broccoli tiara, broccoli boquet, and don't forget - the broccoli in your 
teeth.

And Laura Llew's Number One Suggestion For A Last Minute Halloween Costume 
is:

Go as a Mormon Missionary. When trick or treating, people will actually open 
the door! You refuse the candy but invite yourself in and talk about the 
church. Then you can say, "No thank you, Sir, you save the candy and I'll 
save your soul."

Now, I'm sure you are all wondering/downing the prozac like poptarts in 
hopes that it will MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT ALL STOP/curious as to what I'm 
going as for Halloween. Depsite the fact that I've been compared with Ally 
Sheedy two times in a very short time period, I will not be going as 
everyones favorite member of the Breakfast Club. I am going to be BRIER 
RANDOM. More specifically Brier in his picture on the get phreaky sinister 
page. (http://www.missprint.org/sinister/people/Brier.html) Yes! I'm 
getting my hair cut and then am going to spend hours fixing it to have that 
"I haven't brushed it yet" look. I'll dress in all black and I've already 
been practicing on looking pouty and petulant. (What you think looking 
fashionably depressed is EASY?)  I already have the halloween day 
conversations worked out in my head:

Prosaic Person: What are you dressed up as?
me:  *sighs and then languidly answers*  I AM Brier Random.
Prosaic Person: What's a Brier Random?
me: "To be is to do."
Prosaic Person: Huh?
me: *pointedly stares at them as if they're an idiot and then sulks off to 
read Camus*

Oh, how I'm looking forward to it so! Don't you wish you could be Brier too? 
Tough. You can't. It was my idea first. However, you can wish the bashful 
Brier a happy birthday since today is the celebration of his day o' birth. 
He's a blushing beauty so I won't reveal his age. (Though I'm told he is a 
thirsty one). I will attest to his greatness though. I saw on the Auction 
how he has a piece of his mail art for bid. I can tell you from personal 
experience that he is hilariously creative at that. (Plus, he has great 
lips.) However, I would be careful about stealing his ideas and using them 
as an art project for a stupid college class in fear that the teacher might 
call you 'edgy' and then you'll have to knock down her stupid little display 
while explaining to her that you are quite EVEN TEMPERED thankyouverymuch.

Um, yes,  HappyHappyBirthday to Brilliant Brier!

AND

Happy Halloween to everyone!

Laura
'meeting all of your laura llew needs since 1977'

PS - Literary Lisa (go virginia woolf! RAH!) from the Lisa & Lee duo told me 
that she had a literary party and one of her friends dressed up as Dorothy 
Parker - complete with a flask inside her beaded 20s purse! You know I was 
loving that idea.
PPS - If Belle and Sebastian had been thinking about anyone except for 
themselves and yuletide spirits, they would have put out a cover of a 
classic Halloween song or at least something frightening and spooky like 
either Sarah or Isobel writing an entry in the band's diary so I could have 
fit in some content in this post. However, once again they can't ever think 
about how what they might do might effect Laura Llew.

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