Sinister: warning - whinging within

[Florence]

Hello boys and girls,

I haven't posted to the list for about four months, but I'm sat here with this application form that has to be in first thing tomorrow morning, and I keep putting off finishing it. You know how it is. I've had it for weeks now, and my intentions were good, but I think subconsciously I knew all along it'd be midnight tonight before I really got stuck into it. So what is more natural at a time like this than to write emails?

I even got up early this morning to work on the application. But it's so lovely and sunny today, and the next thing I knew I was sat in a cafe drinking coffee, smoking marlboro lights and writing a really long letter to my friend Doug. Probably the longest letter I've ever written, and with a pen too, which is a bit of a novelty to me these days.

Then I realised there were a few things I *urgently* needed to buy before I could possibly continue filling in the form (like nailvarnish), so I went shopping. It was really hot and sunny on the bus, and I was listening to IYFS for the first time in ages, and for a moment it felt like the beginning of the summer all over again. This was a really nice sensation at first, until it struck me that I had achieved nothing whatsoever over the summer. Despite all my plans, I'm right back where I started, and this is quite a sad thing to realise.

I'm still in the same pittance-paying job, on the same old temporary contract. I'm single yet again, after ending a couple of new relationships when they were just a few weeks old (not at the same time, I hasten to add). Plans to move to Paris fell through, so I'm still staying with my mum (and it's not much fun, moving back in with a parent seven years after leaving home). I haven't updated my website for nearly a year, despite all the cool plans I've got for it. And one of my favourite kitten heels broke and was unmendable (yes, okay, that's not really an example of how things are still the same as they were last spring, but I'd got into the swing of complaining...).

This application form is for the job I'm already doing. It would mean twice as much money, and a permanent contract. Getting it would also mean that one thing *had* changed since the start of the summer. All the more reason to go and get on with filling it in, I suppose. Wish me luck, kids. I'm sure 1,300 sets of crossed fingers would help!

Florence xx 

PS - Apologies for the miserable and insular nature of this email. If I wasn't enjoying wallowing in misery so much, I'd probably remember that lots of lovely things happened this summer too, like good times with friends, sinister picnics, finally seeing the magnetic fields live...
____________________________________________________________

Pink Lemonade with Twinkle at www.CamdenTownNW1.freeserve.co.uk 
- currently being revamped, and back by public demand soon!

"all my soul records spin on the hi-fi, make me feel like god is within me, but he's not, it's a lie, i am empty" - hefner

+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
    +---+  Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list  +---+
    To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
    send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
    majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students"  +-+
 +-+  "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list"  +-+
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper        +-+
 +-+   "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000   +-+
 +-+       "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named       +-+
 +-+           Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000           +-+
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+