Sinister: Elvis lives in evil Levis

[Ian Nicolson]

My, we've all gone shy again, haven't we?  It always unnerves me somewhat 
when it goes quiet (...try not to fart...try not to fart...) - maybe you're 
all giggling behind my back. But this is the second time in two weeks that 
this has happened, and just when my work has become so boring I could die as 
well. Don't you know it's your duty to entertain me, Sinister? Cause if you 
don't then you just get idiots like me trying desperately to think of things 
to post, just to keep keep myself entertained. Such as this:
Where I work we spend a lot of time looking through all the records (that's 
births and deaths and stuff, rather than 45s and EPs) kept in Scotland and 
last week we were amused to find that in 1901 there were two men in Shetland 
called Hay Hay. Now while this might be ample excuse, if any were needed, 
for a rendition of the Monkees theme tune, or even, perhaps, an impression 
of the Fonz, it's not really something that 1400 souls are going to be 
interested in, is it? So start posting again, or else I'm going to have to 
think up more dismal nonsense to annoy you with!

Some stuff that people said:
Blake: (how are your Seven doing, by the way? Sorry, that's probably the 
millionth time someone's said that)
>does everyone know that if you search for your name
>via yahoo or google or something, and you've posted,
>that your posts will turn up? That scares me.

So, being an inquisitive sort I tried this, but all that I got was stuff 
about yachts and St Mirren. Which does explain one of the more odd phone 
calls I've ever had - that time Tom Hendrie called me up..no, no not that 
one. But that one, about five years ago, when I was working in an 
advertising agency and I got a phone call from someone asking if I could 
come and fix his boat, cause I'd worked on it about 15 years previous. I was 
highly dubious about this as I would only have been three at the time and 
while I was obviously a talented child, fixing boats was probably a bit 
beyond me. So finding out that Ian M Nicolson is an authority on yacht 
building was something of a relief. Although how this feller got my works 
phone number is still a puzzle.

Archel:
>change in pockets: has anyone done the gender test at
>www.thespark.com? we worked out that of the 50 plus questions,
>the only one they use to really determine your gender is 'do you carry 
>stuff in your pockets?' if no, you're officially
>a girl.

Well, I'm a chap and I carry stuff in my pockets and I said I did, but I 
still ended up being a woman. Darn.

See, this is the shite that you have to read when you don't post, so do 
something now! It can't be any worse than this.

Ian N.



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