Sinister: The woods are lovely, dark, and deep; But I have miles to go before I sleep

[Laura Llew]

Gingerfoxes, Pinefoxes, Velocity Girl, Listdom Lisa, Primitive Painters... 
Oh My! With all these foxes and fast girls, I don't know whether I'm on a 
mailing list or a porno set. Don't even ask me what is making that 
Carsmile...

So, I've never actually been on a porn set to know. However, I did meet an 
adult movie star before. Yes, she had just written a book. (I use the term 
"written" loosely here.) (I use the term "loosely" loosely here as well). 
However, I didn't realize she was an author at the time and thought she 
worked for the publishing company at which booth she was at. (I was at a 
booksellers convention). When I finally discovered it, I apologized for the 
mistake and she was quite nice about it. She even gave me a copy of her book 
which she autographed. That's when I looked down to see that the name of her 
book was, "If I'm so famous how come nobody's ever heard of me?"  Whooops! I 
ended up giving the book to my father who gave the book to his father. If 
you can't share porno with your dad, what's the point?

I believe I'm going to save that last sentence just in case I ever go into 
therapy and can't think of anything to say.

As always, Primitive Painter spoke my heart. This time it was when he said, 
"It seems I have a penchant for early eighties guitar pop, that I can't seem 
to shake. Oh the days when The Chesterfields sang 'What's Your Perversion?"  
Oh! I love that song. In fact, the other day I was mentally going through 
the tracks that I would put on a mix tape if that were the theme song. Of 
course, at the same time I was also trying to figure out what tunes I should 
put on my girly tape which I'm making for a friend. I had nicked Baxendale's 
"Music For Girls" for the beginning & theme of that one. Anyway, the two 
soon became muddled in my head and I ended up with a mix of "Music for Your 
Perversions" which pretty much accurately describes any mix tape by me.

You know that feeling when you've just completed a tape you've made for 
someone else and you put it in to listen to it the whole way through for the 
first time? Before you know it, you've suddenly been consumed with pride and 
greed. Not only is it the BEST mix tape ever but you don't want to ever let 
go of it. I've even made copies of tapes and ended up giving away the copy 
instead of the original! Heh. Who's going to give that kind of art away? No, 
that tape deserves to be dipped in gold and saved for posterity! You might 
have listened to it for weeks beaming with pride before you finally parted 
with it. However, you still know that down in the books that mix tape will 
go. Well, here's the time to let everyone else know it as well. I'm 
officially announcing the

**********TRANSATLANTIC MIX TAPE CHALLENGE OF 2001**********
Already there are three contestants. The last entry which was Racy Rinaldo 
who rasped: "I too am competing for that crown. I had no idea that the 
painter and the fox were in the same race. No matter, I feel a coronation 
coming on."

*nudges the others* Did you hear that challenge boys? "I hear a coronation 
coming on." Oh ho ho ho. Are you going to stand for that? No!

So, here's the deal. All you need to do is to come up with your best mix 
tape and send it to me. Simply e-mail me for my address when you're ready to 
mail it and I shall officially enter you into the competition. There are no 
rules - no time limits for the tapes. When I have enough tapes to make a 
decent competition and no one else seems to be interested, I will pick the 
winner and post their name along with the track listing of the tape to 
Sinister.

You should know that I drive A LOT. Thus, your tape will most likely be 
listened to while I drive. Now, you might not think this is a factor or 
important but I can assure that no matter how great the group God Speed You 
Black Emperor! is they simply do not rank high on the drivability scale. 
Unless, you're in a tank cruising around the rubble left after the 
apocalypse.

Now, when I'm not trying to solicit music from the list what else am I 
doing? Anyone...anyone...anyone...Bueller?

That's right - Literature Recommendations! Ahh, yes it's April and here in 
the US it's National Poetry Month! Yes, it's that time of year when Wee Ree 
pulls out her dog-eared copy of the Waste Land to recite to the masses. How 
can you not fall in love with simple beauty such as that? Especially, when 
she tells of such tradition and then ends her letter so eloquently with her 
ode to Ribena which tearfully ends with, "y'all drink some weird-ass shit."

We Americans even have a little competition where we get to vote on what 
dead poets face will be schlacked as a stamp on third rate envelopes 
everywhere. Oh that's the kind of thing to make your literary loving hearts 
swell with pride! I think so far the top competitors are Langston Hughes, 
Sylvia Plath, SomeoneIdon'trememberwhoI'llkickmyselfforforgetting, and 
Wallace Stevens. Go Wally!  Of course, I can't say I'm too enthusiastic for 
all of this. They've already put my precious parker on a stamp and they 
found the ugliest picture possible of her. It's so sad! She deserves so much 
more than the Postal Office could ever provide!  (Then again, don't we all?)

Until I discovered Dorothy Parker, I was not a fan of poetry at all. In 
fact, the mention of it still leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth from 
memories of my high school literary magazine which was filled with the most 
dreadful love sick, angst filled, pretentious, prosaic lyrics of all time. 
Not only that but my sad (sadsad) compatriots were lauded for their talent 
and skill. No wonder so many teenagers are suicidal. If I could only write 
the crap they came up with, I'd already have one foot off that ledge. It 
seems to me that poetry, because of it's length (or lack thereof), is the 
easiest for people to try to write. Notice the word 'try'. When well done, 
poetry is anything but easy. However, a lot of people try and because I had 
read only that which did not appeal to me I was turned off completely. Then 
I discovered Dorothy Parker! My love! Next, my friend gave me a tiny 
nondescript book of poetry by Wallace Stevens to which I also fell in love. 
(Only to words & music does my heart ever seem to go to so easily.) Now, I 
realize it was only folly to think I didn't like poetry. It's just a matter 
of finding the small flecks of gold amongst the rest of the rubbish. So, if 
you will - if you have a favorite poet could you please send the suggestion 
my way? I'm incredibly lacking on knowledge so any help and  recommendations 
would be most welcome!!

And remember - the tape mix crown is up for grabs, Baby!

Laura
"meeting all of your Laura Llew needs since 1977"


PS - In an example of where life imitates art, I am now a redhead. According 
to Paul Fields, I was always a vixen. So, Katarina Karlsson's drawing is now 
exactly correct. Woo Hoo!

PMS- A while back Pinefox queried, "Where is Miller anyway? Not to mention 
Utah."
The answer: "You know, Utah. It's wedged in between Wyoming and Nevada. 
You've seen pictures."
However, don't ask me what Miller is wedged between.


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