Sinister: spirit ditch

[Jules Markham]

For those who know not of such a thing, a spirit ditch is an emotional ebb, 
where a thousand infanitismal troubles all conspire to drag you down, and 
you find yourself hunched in the safest corner of the bedroom, wondering why 
exactly you've been crying for the last hour.
They creep up on you, doubts and insecurities, and wrap you in ivy and dry 
earth and pretend you're in the cold, cold ground.
So today I'm in a spirit ditch, and dealing with it as best as I can.
Mikey is out, I made him go. He wanted to stay and cuddle me and tell me 
that it was all okay, and I wanted him to stay, more than anything. but then 
I wanted him to go out and jump around and shake the cobwebs from his 
essay-wracked mind.
So here I sit in the light of a computer screen, plucking at the ivy strands 
that hold me in my spirit ditch. Slowly, methodically, pulling at each fear, 
unravelling it. I know that it'll get twisted up again, and pull me back 
down here. Maybe next time it'll take longer to extract myself from the 
vines, maybe I'll shrug them off without a second thought. These things 
happen.
Nick Drake is good music for getting out of a spirit ditch. Soft swells of 
violin and acoustic guitar are the finest secateurs. Tigermilk is the same. 
Perhaps it's the soft voice, or a certain key. I lack technical competence 
where music is involved. I had a botched operation in my ear as a child, 
which left my hearing impaired, and I hear music half an octave higher or 
lower than it actually is.
Do you remember the black fox? There are new stories of her exploits, I'm 
thinking of posting them on the list. would anyone object to that?
well, I've taken up far too much of your time already, I shall sit back and 
dust off my old will oldham albums, and watch out the window for foxes.
julesx
_________________________________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+