Sinister: i'm only lucid when i'm riding buses

[john john]

dear sinister,

what a dreech day.  the overcast sky's hanging over the top of the 
hillsides, smothering and suffocating everything in it's reach.  you're 
wanting to stretch up and above the top layer, to get away from the stagnant 
air from below.  to try and break away from everyone and everything else. 
but it's not possible. you can try & try until you can't stand the sweat 
trickling down your back, in your attempt to break through the blanket...

it won't happen though. you see what you've done, and then look at how far 
you have to go. from having high spirits and being naive enough to believe 
you can do it , you are suddenly injected with the sobering oils of 
cynicism.  then you reluctantly try to tolerate your claustrophobia, after 
all your struggling to escape it.

and it was only last night that you were clutching your blanket in an effort 
to keep out the cold.  you were dependent on that blanket, in the false hope 
that it could prevent the fever that could soon be passing over you.

and then the next day will bring hope again.  the lighter area will have 
extended.  you can breath a little more.  you put on your headphones amd 
listen to Lazy Line Painter Jane.  you are once again inspired. continuing 
your goal will probably end up in tears, but you can only try your best.



thanks to anyone who read this..

john
   x

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