Sinister: the little white-haired old man

Fri Apr 6 18:55:34 BST 2001

hello,
i'm back in the highlands for a couple of weeks, then me and The Boyfriend 
(*waves*) are moving to Embra for the summer. Coo-el. Hee hee.
Poor Will and his courtroom high-jinx. what was the verdict by the way? i'm 
sure myself and john could easily re-create a Hamish MacBeth style 
police/polis drama. esp since i live just in the village next to where the 
ACTUAL REAL series was filmed. hehe. robert carlisle, yum indeed.
i've left glasgow.  not a happy bunny.  however i cannot wait to move to 
embra with paul cos it's gonna be great and fab and ace and everything. i am 
all loved-up properly for the first time ever and it is a great an special 
thing indeed.
saw the manics at the barrowlands on tuesday.  james dean bradfield winked 
at me.  my sister screamed.  i swooned.  yum again.
i have a thing about chicken flavour super noodles. how nice they are.
i also saw snow patrol recently.  their album is rather beautiful. AND the 
colburn boy was bashing some maraccas around. and smoking a lot. he 
shouldn't do that cos when he's old he'll have all these lines round his 
mouth and it'll look like he's been sucking ( i said sucking) lemons all his 
life.
i'm away back into my cupboard for a while.  back soon.
*hugs*
amy xxxxxxxx

ps jenowl- phone/text me soon if you can! xxxx
>From: Will Salt Reply-To: Will Salt To: sinister at xxx.org Subject: 
>Sinister: the little white-haired old man Date: Wed, 4 Apr 2001 18:04:34 
>+0100 (BST)
>
>
>WARNING: no content found below. If you want content, skip. I bet a goodly 
>proportion of you are too bothered about what you'll be doing at the 
>weekend to even be *reading* this, though.
>
>Oooh, I've been having a bad week. This is just to get it off my chest, 
>really. I've been having a bad week because I was called up as a juror in 
>the High Court. For several days, I've been dressing up all posh in a suit 
>-- well, my only suit -- to go up to court (it's only just along the 
>street, really) and sit around doing nothing.
>
>They never actually got as far as wanting a jury, even, so my time was 
>wasted. Each morning 30 of us would sit around in the courtroom, or outside 
>the courtroom, or in the courtroom cafe, waiting for the wheels of justice 
>to grind on, and just before lunch the judge would call us all in and 
>explain that the case still wasn't ready for trial today.
>
>For some reason, all the seats in Scottish courtrooms are designed to be as 
>uncomfortable as possible -- except the judges', of course. I assume this 
>is meant to keep you awake. I was expecting that Parliament House -- which 
>is where the Supreme Courts sit -- would be posh and shiny everywhere 
>inside, but none of the fittings looked like they'd been replaced since 
>1952. This is one reason why I'm glad that I didn't have to sit on the jury 
>in the end.
>
>The other reason i didn't want to sit, is that it was a *nasty* case. This 
>little, white-haired old man, who sat outside the courtroom waiting with 
>all the rest of us, was on trial for lots of charges of "Lewd and 
>Libidinous Behaviour", which sounds like a night out on the piss, but in 
>real language translates to incestous and occasionally paedophilic sexual 
>abuse. I did *not* want to have to spend weeks hearing all about how this 
>man spent 15 years interfering with his family. I didn't want to have to 
>say "he did it" or, on the other hand, "you're lying" to his [alleged] 
>victims. When we were waiting this morning, he was sat next to me, and I 
>couldn't help wondering: are you lying? daren't you own up? why would 
>people claim you did *that* if you didn't? I'm glad I won't get to know the 
>answers.
>
>Still, now that's all over, and I get to go away on holiday for a bit. I 
>shall entrust myself to the Great North-Eastern Railway and go and visit 
>the parents for a bit. Getting all my meals cooked and cups of tea in bed 
>should take my mind off of things for a bit ;-) I would say "are there any 
>listees living in Grimsby who would like to meet up?" if i wasn't sure that 
>there won't be any. Oh, except that Ms. Deller who was writing a 
>dissertation about B+S fans or something. And I bet she'll be somewhere 
>less boring instead.
>
>I bet there aren't even any listees living in Grimsby, Canada. And I don't 
>even know what that place is like.
>
>I couldn't help wondering what a Sinister courtroom drama would turn out 
>like. Who would be the judge, for one thing? Sinister, the police drama 
>might work a bit better, though. All those New Yorkers for the gritty urban 
>bits. Amy Jackson and John Maxwell could do a few scenic Highlands scenes 
>in the Hamish McBeth style. I'm sure plenty of Londoners could do a few The 
>Bill-style lines of dialogue -- "You're going DAAAAAAHHHHHHN, you 
>SLAAAAAAAAAGGGG!!" And I've never met him, but I'm reliably informed that 
>Ally Cook is scary enough to be Taggart.
>
>Princess Honey, of course, would be the damsel-in-distress who has to be 
>saved-in-the-nick-of time every episode. We could keep tying her to railway 
>lines, or something -- although for that, handlebar moustaches are of 
>course *compulsary* for the villains.
>
>More scary things: I was out shopping in a bookshop today. I was looking 
>through the Biography section, and this mad old homeless-type person was 
>looking at all the pictures of people on the covers and trying to argue and 
>shout at them. I was scared -- I always am scared of the mad alcoholic old 
>men that you often see on the streets round here -- and had to hide in the 
>Photography section until he went away. Mad alcoholic old men have an 
>annoying habit of singling *me* out for abuse as i walk past them in the 
>street. I can never understand how they can afford to buy so much Special 
>Brew. Especially enough to make them try to talk to the pictures on the 
>covers of books.
>
>Gah, I'm sorry for rambling on. See, you knew it wouldn't be worth reading 
>this.
>
>xxx
>
>will
>
>--
>
>
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 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
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