Sinister: When it comes to sports,it's not whether you win or lose- it's how drunk you get

[Laura Llew]

Jer, Jer, who goes to Cornell
Please, forgive this southern belle.
As the subject line will tell,
I steal Simpsons'quotes as well.....

May I be the first person to officially comment that Sillustration No. 25* 
is a work of art and beauty. The gold tooth and thick arm hair simply make 
me go weak in the knees. Peter Miller, YOU are my Idle!!**

I like my guys like Die Hard movies -- all action with no plot.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dorothy Parker coined the phrase 
"What the Hell?"*** What a woman!  I just got back from a night drive up to 
the Blue Ridge Parkway with Katy "Dorothy Parker makes me want to gulp down 
bathtub gin, get in a bad relationship, and attempt suicide" Harris where we 
sat on the hood of the car looking at the stars and eating half melted ice 
cream. It was great and she didn't even complain when I took the curves too 
fast (which is probably something Peter Miller is often accused of). This 
was after spending the day splurging and ordering**** Parker related movies 
for an upcoming movie marathon. We've been good girls and haven't spent any 
money since we went in together to buy all of the Twin Peaks episodes and 
then took a roadtrip up to Canada. This time our accompanying roadtrip is 
going to be to New York where I'm sure I will be dragged to every Civil War 
Site which we pass on our way up there since she's obsessed. Today, I walked 
in on her researching about the war on the computer and I asked her what 
porno site she was looking at:
Katy: You know me. It features General Lee in the nude
Me:   Well, his horse was named Traveler.

I've already been to Gettysburgh with her and she'll never think of Little 
Round Top the same way again.

On the drive I broke in the latest mix tape I received from Primitive 
Painter. Do you know that I just recently realized that Elixir's True Blue 
Honey is just a wordless remix of the Future Bible Heroes' Love Is Blue. I'm 
so dense. (Really - light is bending around me here). That bass player from 
Elixir is adorable though, isn't he? Yes, just darling in that 'terrorist 
writing manifestos until his hands turn as bloody as he wants the world to 
be' kind of way.

Painter also sent me a copy of the recent release of the Complete Pixies B 
Sides which went along lovely with the article which Lawrence "The Milkman" 
Mikkelsen was kind enough to post to me. I must say it is ACE. I hadn't 
heard a lot of the tunes so I'm in heaven (in the radiator) here. Favorites 
are David Lovering singing about his obsession with Debbie Gibson, the tune 
from Lynch's (of Twin Peaks fame!) Eraserhead, a remix of the outro section 
of The Happening which I'm in love with,  and an instrumental version of 
Letter To Memphis which is my other favorite pixies song which Frank Black 
wrote to Memphis, Egypt to the great love of his love during her past life 
in that part of the world (Guys don't write love letters to me in my current 
life and some chic gets ones written to all of her past selves. I'm 
considering developing multiple personalities Right Now!)

Surrogate Lusty Mum Linda said, "It sounds so romantic, driving in the deep 
dark woods in deepest darkest, em, Utah."

Ugtah abounds in many things -- including a freakish obsession with Jell-O, 
towns spelled Tooele and pronounced TuWilla, and a quaint mispronunciation 
of basic English words (for becomes fur. Fork becomes fark) -- but it cannot 
boast an abundance of deep dark woods. If you're familiar with Spaceman 
Spiff's adventures in Calivn & Hobbes, then you're familiar with the 
landscape of Southern Utah. They have mountains but like the men in my 
family - they're all bald. I suppose the Unita Mountain Range (part of the 
Rockies and the highest and most important range in the US to run east-west 
instead of north-south) does have some trees. The best part of that though 
is the Alpine Loop where you will find Robert Redford's Timp Lodge and home 
of the Sunset Film Festival. I once went up there in a van full of mentally 
ill adults which was most enjoyable. However, I wouldn't exactly trust any 
opinion of mine on that state since I used to substitute its name in for the 
word "hell" which I found worked quite well.

On the topic of what parents think of Belle and Sebastian - I was quite 
surprised to find my mother singing along with Slow Graffiti. How cute! 
until I realized that instead of singing, "There's a portrait in a back room 
which I keep for days upon, which I relent and gaze for hours on the muscle 
skin and bone of some imaginary friend" that she was singing, "I was dancin' 
with my darlin' to the Tennessee Waltz when an old friend I happened to see. 
I introduced her to my loved one and while they were dancin' my friend stole 
my sweetheart from me."

Ahem! Where does my mother get off inserting Patty Page into MY Struan? Then 
I realized the eerie similarities between the music of Slow Graffiti and the 
Tennessee Waltz (not the Joan Baez song of the same name). It's the same 
song! I think this tune may not be familiar to a lot of you but other NC 
listee Matthew Molnar's Mom said the same thing. Remember that Matthew? 
Remember me? Yeah, me, Laura Llew. The girl who you serenaded with Smith 
songs on my front porch while I was in the swing all wrapped up in a warm 
comforter. You almost made me spill my tea because I was laughing so much at 
your 20 minute cover of "Vicar in a Tutu" which you said you were going to 
make as a B-side one day. Yeah that was back when you used to talk to me. 
Before you started working at that stupid record store and became too good 
for lil' Llew. Who? Even after that I still had long conversations with your 
back. We were in love and going to elope but in the end he was just too 
attached to you to be with me. Yeah move back to your stupid Jersey - see if 
I care!

So yeah - my point is that my parents both think Belle and Sebastian are a 
bunch of music thieving Scots who'd best stay the Utah away from their Patty 
Page!

Laura

*(http://www.missprint.org/sinister/sillustrations/No025.html)
**No I did not misspell idol here. With posts like 
http://www.missprint.org/sinister/mhonarc/200012/msg00033.html
that fox obviously has too much time (among other things) on his hands.
*** If you looked at the Sillustration you will realize the first sentence 
of this paragraph does relate to the previous one
**** New Orleans Lauren will attest to the shocking fact that thriving 
metropolis of Pisgah Forest, North Carolina doesn't have a place where one 
can buy the movies: Robert Benchley and the Knights of the Algonquin, A Star 
is Born, and Saboteur
***** Sorry, I just wanted to be able to say it was a 5 star post

PS- Paul Fields who starred in my last PS informed me that his name is 
actually Paul Field. However, Laura Llewd whispered in my ear that the 
addition of a random letter to one's last name is usually a good thing.
PPS - The Transatlantic Mix Tape Challenge of 2001 is off to a great start!  
>From Emily Wilska and Kat in Oklahoma, I know that Sinister Seductresses can 
make wonderful tapes as well as the boys. So I'm excited that both Feather 
Boa, Rachel Walther, and Jenny Payne (in the nursery still but she's a 
librarian from Virginia. I already love her!) have entered. I think we 
definitely need more girl entries though Ü
PPPS- Walkn Steve- get over it. Basketball season is ovah. Gooo Braves!





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