Sinister: 105 years old! Talk about virtuoso!

[M. Curtin]

Hi kidlets,

Should any of you be wondering, wearing green suede shoes and beige
corduroys during a MONSOON surely spells disaster.  Yes, I now have green
trimmed pants that are 4 times as long as they used to be.  Who knew they
held so much water?  I don't really mind as I do happen to like rain (yes,
I'm not normal) but as I was patiently waiting at the bus stop, some little
punky kid comes up and says: "Hey Bitch! Don't you know your pants are
turning green?"  I felt like responding: "Hey bastard, don't you know you're
singlehandedly destroying the English language?" But I didn't.  Because I'm
a nice person.  And generally aloof.  And I like to start sentences with
conjunctions.  Just call me little Miss Atwood.

Speaking of punky kids though, is it just me or are people getting shorter?
I swear to God there are so many tiny people yet they all seem to be the
mean, mal-adjusted kids.  Maybe they just stand out more because they're so
BASTARDY, or maybe there are just more bastards out there.  Please don't
think that I attribute small stature to mean people, or vice versa, as I
know there are many short and nice people, and tall and mean ones.  One
really cannot deny the fact, though, that no one is as tall as they used to
be (except my corduroys, of course - they've far exceeded any height
restrictions).

I just had to get that innane little anecdote out of the way.  I was really
writing to explain a problem I have.  Am I the only one in the world who
finds the Smiths' "Some Girls Are Bigger THan Others" to be sheer hilarity?
I laugh out loud everytime I hear this song.  The part where Antony says to
Cleopatra: "Ooh, I say...." simply KILLS ME!  I thought everyone would feel
this way, but I played it to a friend (who is usually quite open to said
band) and she just looked at me funny.  "I don't get it," she said.  Here's
the crux of the issue: I don't get it either.  I cannot for the life of me
explain why this is so funny.  Why I am catapulted into the throes of such
passion upon hearing those words is beyond me.  I haven't felt this confused
since they tried to teach me fractions.  Do any of you understand?  My only
explanation is that I'm a frighteningly boring person.  I mean, really
boring.  I actually listen to the CBC - voluntarily.  In fact, none of you
are reading this right now because you've all fallen into a deep pit of
sleep.

Speaking of understanding, can any of the Quebec sinisterians (I know you're
out there) please explain to me that show 'La Fureur'?  I don't get it.
Actually, I get enough of it to care about what I don't understand.  For
instance, why is everyone on the show so goooooood looooookin'?  Do they not
let ugly, unfashionable people on, or is Quebec simply a hotbed for the
pretty and fashionable? (My money's riding on the former.........).  Lastly,
what's with that part where they all start singing together and the music
cuts out and one person is left to sing?  They always have such pained looks
on their faces, then everyone cheers when they're done as if they've cured
cancer.  It's not that hard to read lyrics off a screen, is it?

Finally, are there any Max Jacob scholars out there?  If so, please let me
know.  I have some questions for you.  (hmmmm....ominous!)

yours, drowsily,
Marybethhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

P.S. Sorry for my incorrect and grammatically culpable use of they, etc.
when I should use he/she, etc.  I'm just too lazy to fix it.  I'm sorry.

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