Sinister: moz, you can eat my children anyday

[GardeningAtNight at xxx.com]

is shyness ever beneficial?

i've been having weird psychic predictions this week due to lack of sleep i 
think.  i was walking from the parking lot into a store and the idle thought 
went through my head, "what if i were to see bill [my old guitar teacher who 
i haven't seen in over a year and who i really miss because he was awesome 
and he loved "i know where the summer goes" because struan says arse in it] 
here?"  and scarily enough, when i entered, there he was.  and being the dork 
i am, i turned around and ran to the back of the store.  i don't think he saw 
me.  i was thinking of saying hi but i remembered a kind of embarassing 
e-mail i wrote him telling him about how much he helped me personally, not 
just guitar-wise, and i felt quite mortified so i left without him ever 
noticing.  i hate feeling all gawky and teenagerish.  but some adults tell me 
the sensation never leaves even in adulthood.  how depressing.

there were some musicians setting up to play at borders last night, and as i 
sat down to read the riverfront times i noticed a shirt one of the guys was 
wearing.  it was navy blue and i could've sworn it had those little looper 
people on it in little boxes.  but my vision is going in my old age so i 
couldn't tell if that's what it was.  i think it was though.  i was feeling 
kind of antsy and restless though so i just got up and left in the pouring 
rain.  so, if you are the guy with brown hair who is fairly attractive in an 
ed o'brien sort of way and played at the borders in creve coeur missouri last 
night, well, you are cool for having a looper shirt and it made me smile.

when i left borders i went across the street to the record store and bought a 
used morrissey cd, which seems somehow appropriate.  maladjusted seems to be 
the only record in which he looks pretty good on the cover.  on the others he 
looks like a scary old man who wants to eat my children.

to the person who instant messaged me yesterday to tell me they sillistrated 
one of my posts: thank you for sillistrating me and telling me you 
sillistrated me.  it made me feel warm inside.  i wish i looked like the "me" 
in the sillistration because that person is a smart dresser and seems to have 
quite manageable hair.

love,
samantha
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