Sinister: Let's refill the photocopier!

[Will Salt]

Hello! I've just got back from Mr Peacock Johnson's Edinburgh book-signing
session, which was a Good Thing because it featured Free Wine! Yay!  More
of that below, though.

I know I like to rant, sometimes, about the library I work in, and how
annoying the stupid bloody readers are.  However, today I just want to say
that there was *one* student in our library today who evidently does have
good taste, because she was wearing an If You're Feeling Sinister t-shirt.
I filled up the photocopier with paper for her, and she was very
reasonable and didn't ask stupid questions about where books were or
anything.

So, if you were in Edinburgh University library this lunchtime, and got
some boy to put some more paper in the Reserve Room photocopier, then, um,
hello.  It was me.

Jonathan someone said that sinister people should wear a badge or
something to distinguish themselves.  Um, I already do some of the time.
It has a picture of me on it, so you can see who I am.

Anyway, as I said, I've just come back from Peacock Johnson's Edinburgh
book-signing /stroke/ stage-play, or whatever it's meant to be; held in a
small heating-duct somewhere under Princes St.  I'm not going to describe
it all in detail -- surely that should be ListMummy's job? -- but I do
want to mention the gaggle of old wives that were sat just in front of me.
Evidently, they go to all these book-signing events whoever is supposed to
be at the front, and they were all a bit puzzled when a bookstore minion
came in to explain that Stuart himself couldn't be with us tonight due to
"controversy", but he had sent in a video.  "Shocking!" muttered the old
women (who had very hairy chins) at Stuart's explanation.  "Grr!
Mm-mm-mm!" they grumbled at his tale of being-forced-into-hiding.  They
read closely the small-print on the bookshop leaflets ... "It does *say*
Stuart David!"  The fact that we could hardly hear the video probably
didn't help.

Ooh, they *were* shocked when Peacock came onstage and started swearing
all over the place.  "There's far too many tits here" said one, when
Peacock called Mr David "titlicker" for the 798th time.  Their jaws
dropped open at the word "cunt".  They giggled approvingly at Peacock's
wee wifey when she poked him and complained at his language.  When she
started reading out a passage from the book, they were in stitches; and by
the end of the performance, they though every single "tit" was hilarious.
I don't think they bought the book, though.

I also don't know if they noticed that the one time Mr Johnson didn't
insist in mumbling into a microphone to speak, his voice sounded
strangely like that of Mr David on the video.  What a mysterious
coincidence.  They *did* notice, however, that right from the start --
when they were going "dear, dear, dear" and tutting at Mr David's
appalling lack of whatever -- the boy sat behind them was having to try
*very* hard not to giggle.

Oh, Idleberry challenged us to guess something about a politician who left
politics to go back to being a priest or something.  I don't know his
name, but I bet he's Icelandic.  They do things like that.  I had a
teacher who was a priest, once.  Every so often he would go in a mad rage
and start throwing tables at people.


Taraa, then.


Will

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