Sinister: often ending up in each others underwear too

[dimitra]

That, I found in the FAQ about the list.It reads: 
"It's a very special list - not a "resource for fans",
but a community of people who love the music of Belle
and Sebastian, and who usually love each other, often
ending up in each others underwear too. "
I used it to draw your attention; and because it seems
funny and quite true; also because it says something
about what I have to say.

A few days ago, on the beach at Benicassim, I
remembered the sunny May afternoon I joined the list.
I  decided to  join when I came across the phrase
"this is a mailing list about Belle and Sebastian, and
about the lives of the people who like them" -or
something like that. Where I come from, all May
afternoons are sunny; this one, it was in the middle
of rather grey and unhappy period of my life, when
things seemed to be getting better but felt like they
were getting worse (and actually were). I was missing
Belle and Sebastian, the feeling about them...(the
last album being eleven months ago and the next single
a month ahead, not having anyone to share that feeling
with -cause for my greek friends, Belle and Sebastian
are "that band Dimitra is obsessed with"). 

So I thought the posts should feel like the songs, and
i joined. I hadn't realised that would mean getting at
least ten posts a day. I got quite excited. And more
and more involved. I read all posts carefully. I had
to beg my brother let me use the computer long enough
to do that. I starting going on #sinister too -and had
to beg for more time. There I started getting to know
some people...and then crazy things started happening.

As most things I considered important at the time was
falling apart, I found myself on a train to a small
(greek) town, then at its station, waiting for half an
hour for a girl I'd never met before...and being sure
all along she'd come. She did. And it was worth it. I
had a great time. And it was just the beggining of it:
it was the day things started changing for better.
I had to re-invent myself in a way, to find new things
to consider important. And I was so lucky as to have
the chance to get on a plane and go do it elsewhere...
and not just anywhere...a few days later I was
travelling towards what I considered the magic land,
home of the best band in the world and of Sinister...

I found myself on a plane, then on some trains, then
in a railway station in London, waiting for another
girl I'd never met before. And it was okay -I just new
there was something about it all that was right.
I spend a day in London,where I tried in vain to track
down a certain listee who had invited me to a party. I
did manage to talk to him on the phone though, and it
was a magical moment. Just because it was a sweet
night and he picked it up after fifty times, when I
least expected him to...well, maybe because he was
nice too.

Then, Sunday came, and I got a train to Scotland...
where I spend what must have been the most happy days
of my life. I mean it. I stayed with Belle the list
puppy -and the people who live with her (and with a
hamster and three guineapigs). I remember climbing up
a hill with them and looking at Dundee from above...
also running in a vast green field...also drinking and
getting tipsy if not anything more,and walking in the
rain...(hamster and giuneapigs not included).

It was mostly sunny though. I spend a day in Edinburgh
with Will... We wandered around,walked Princess street
up and down about fifteen times, lied in three
different parks, went to two different pubs...oh and
climbed up the Walter Scott monument...Will thought he
was useless (at least for a moment he did)- but I
think he was great! We managed to get to the station
on time, so I got a train back to Dundee.

Next day I went to Glasgow. And it was so lovely I
don't know what to say about it. Richard showed me a
lot of things he could think of, but he forgot to show
me Stuart's church. We sat in three different pubs but
only lied down in a patch of grass by the river Clyde.
We walked along many streets but not a the same one
more than twice. We even drove around a little for
some obscure reason. And we even found ourselves in
the wrong lane opposite a bus -but it all felt so
great (not the bus but everything else) that only the
Smiths could have talked about it.

I didn't get a train back to Dundee, I spend the night
on some very kind people's sofa. The next day was
Belle and Sebastian day, so we went to North Berwick
to celebrate that. I won't say much cause what
happened to the picnic is a secret (that most people
know probably...anyway). Just imagine ten people
looking quite strange and rather twee, and a dog,
standing in a circle in the Edinburgh Waverley
station, the people looking shy, trying not to catch
each others eye and being really quiet, the dog
looking bored cause she didn't get much attention.
That's how it started. What I have to say is that I
loved it, I had a great time, the best I can ever
remember having, especially after the point it started
to rain...near the end, i felt the urge to give my
favourite tape to a beatiful boy... That night will be
the one I will remember every time I feel miserable on
a Saturday night (that is probably every seven days)
and Edinburgh will be the place I will be wishing I
were.

After all that I went to Spain, stopping at Milton
Keynes to meet everyone's favourite listee Ken Chu...
who is as lovely and twee as one can be...(Kenny
please get insulted by that). When we left there, I
was missing him too along with everyone I had made
friends with in Scotland. I remember jumping up and
down when I read he found a job.

I've been to Benicassim and I've seen Belle and
Sebastian, but I won't bother you with that. I
discovered I don't like festivals so I didn't enjoy it
much. Apart from the time we saw a boy with Belle and
Sebastian badges on a beach and run after him shouting
"excuse me, are you on sinister?". It prooved he was
-and it also prooved that's a nice way of making
friends even in crazy places. We ended up getting
drunk outside his tend the last day of the festival
with people from eight different countries. And the
next day, playing football after midnight outside the
railway station in Valencia, then sleeping on the
pavement.

I know this is far too long, but please excuse me, I
had to say this. All this.
I had to, because since that night I've stopped
feeling sad or scared: I feel happy just watching the
world around me unravel, discovering it with the
amazement and the joy of a four-year-old ;and also
certain that it will all be okay.
I had to, because I left a piece of my heart in
Scotland: I've been missing it since the day I crossed
the border (!) and it seems as I will be till the day
I come back. I hope it won't be too far away.

Me and Rachel, we were thinking we should thank Honey
for creating the list and therefor making it possible
for all these things to happen. So I did one of these
days, and she said "I didn't make the list, you all
did".
So I thank you all. Everyone who invited me anywhere,
or who put me up, or showed me around their city or
helped me out; and also everyone who bought me a
drink, or anything else -and Chris especially for
giving me his badge. And everyone who's been lovely to
me, especially those who shared their gelly beans with
me.
Finally, everyone out there who cares for the list and
believes in it.And everyone who has read this so far.
(Write me and I'll send you a present)

Love,and keed the faith,
Dimitra

ps I was in a church the day before yesterday, and
people where chanting and praying at it felt great, so
I tried to pray too, and I realised the only words
that were strong enough inside me were lyrics.
I found myself singing Fox In The Snow. Someone said
that I was singing it to god -and that if he was
listening he must have loved it.





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