Sinister: As WC Fields would say - I'd rather be here than Philadelphia

[Laura Llew]

I just met the first person I have ever known who also likes the group 
formally known as Smog (now remember I've never met another b&s fan so such 
things are completely rare for me). I am so utterly DISAPPOINTED. He's 
recently married and his wife ended up taking her last name, squeezing a 
hyphen in the middle, and then attaching his sur name as the caboose to her 
concocted train of a name. I suppose this quite normal, except for he did 
the same thing so now their last names match in some odd lopsided fashion. 
His name is William Bird so I suppose I might want to change my name too if 
I had gone my entire life as a Bird, Bill but still there's something a 
smidge saddening about the whole process. If everyone who likes the same 
musical groups as I do is going to be such a let down, forget me going to 
any Sinister picnics. Pffft.

Of course, I don't know about Sinister anymore. The Angeline Jolie thing 
wasn't so much of a shock to my system as finding out that Honey reads the 
SUN. Not that I'm at all familiar with Scotland's newspapers but I'm having 
rather delicious thoughts of Honey all curled up with a tabloid reading 
about royalty flitting around half naked on Jet Skis. Tell me, Honey, is 
there any update about the treasure map they discovered in the ladies' 
varicose veins?

Then there was the much talked about the post from Dazzling Dimitra who 
said, "I was in a church the day before yesterday, and people where chanting 
and praying at it felt great, so I tried to pray too, and I realised the 
only words that were strong enough inside me were lyrics. I found myself 
singing Fox In The Snow. Someone said that I was singing it to god -and that 
if he was listening he must have loved it."

If I were God (and really - who is to say I'm not), I don't think I would 
approve. Or rather I think I would if you'd let me make requests. Perhaps a 
nudge for a little "If You're Feeling Sinister". I'm sure the vicar, or 
whatever, would really love that one. Fox in the Snow though isn't nearly 
spicy enough for my choir boy tastes. However, I just discovered while 
visiting  http://www.fineran.demon.co.uk/basrefs/lit.htm yesterday that in 
Virginia Woolf's book "Orlando" the Russian Princess lover chic is referred 
to as being "like a fox in the snow"  twice. The complete list of books and 
authors which B&S refer to amounts to fifteen. I've been trying to decide 
for an appropriate prize for the winner of the TRANSATLANTIC MIX TAPE 
CHALLENGE (which is still underway) and this site gave me an idea. In 
addition to the unadulterated envy and admiration of all of Sinister, I can 
also send the winner of the illustrious best mix tape in the world challenge 
a set of books to which B&S refer to in their songs (providing I can find 
them). Sexpot Sauer has already said that I am SUCH a book geek but I can't 
help it - so the following books will be in the set:

'Belle Et Sebastien' by Madame Cecile Aubry
Rip Van Winkle by Washington Irving
The Trial by Franz Kafka
Orlando by Virginia Woolf
The Bible - King James Version
John Polkinghorne's "Reason and Reality : The Relationship Between Science 
and Theology
Salinger's Catcher In The Rye
Kerouac's On The Road though I might get feisty and send you his Book of 
Dreams instead because I got two copies free
Mark Twain - My favorite of his which is The Diaries of Adam & Eve
Dostoevsky - I don't know which of his I'll send yet. I'm quite fond of 
Notes From The Underground
Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis (which is responsible for "Sleep 
The Clock Around"). Though his Screwtape Letters is my personal favorite of 
his. I met someone off the Mere Lewis mailing list which was Oooh scary. Too 
religious for the likes of heathen me.
Captain Courageous by Kipling (Another Sleep The Clock Around contributor)
Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
Alan Sillitoe's The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner
Closely Watched Trains by Bohumil Hrabal

That's a rather substantial parting gift if I do say so myself (though quite 
a deal smaller than putting every book on the Literary List on there) so 
perhaps this shall spur even more people to compete though I have my hands 
for at the moment. At the moment I am enjoying very lovely entries and 
wondering if I have gotten myself into a torrid mess by falling in love with 
mix tape makers whom I've never met. Mike Winship includes the BEST 
Simpsons' and Twin Peaks' quoteage - Dahling's tape is my heartbreak find - 
my favorite Virgin-ahhh-an, Jenny Payne, does beautiful blue artwork - Jay's 
tape is like himself, completely perfect, and Peter's is a political 
statement of a masterpiece. There are a few which have yet to be listened 
to.

I think that Dorothy Parker is a glaring omission from Stuart Murdoch's 
allusion list. Perhaps someone should alert him of this - I'll try to 
remember it the next time he is making a cameo appearance in my bedroom. Of 
course, some others on the list might complain as to the absence of Jane 
Austen. An editor among editors elaborated, "You see, Austen can be credited 
with not only developing the style of dialogue known as indirect discourse, 
but with the very genre of the novel itself. Furthermore, she wrote with 
great wit and irony about the great political topics of her day, all the 
while cloaked as mere gossip about men with big inheritances."

I've never read any Jane Austen but I've read Mark Twain quotes referring to 
Jane Austen:

"Jane Austen? Why I go so far as to say that any library is a good library 
that does not contain a volume by Jane Austen. Even if it contains no other 
book."

"I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely 
impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural 
death."

"I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I 
hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so 
that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop 
every time I begin. Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her 
up and beat her over the skull with her own shinbone."

You can't blame Mark Twain - he hadn't had the nightmare of reading Nick 
Hornby (hehehe*).

Sorry for the length of this post. No matter what your girlfriend whispers 
in the dark of the night, size does matter.

I'm no Mark Twain but I might be as sad as Dostoevsky,

Laura
*That was written precisely to incense Jay

PS- Madeline, Kitty Collars? Next thing I know you'll have been telling me 
what you heard the wise Bob Barker say about spaying and neutering.

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