Sinister: <please supply one b&s lyric containing the word "holiday", "heterosexual" or french-related theme>

[honey at xxx.org]

[EXECUTIVE SUMMARY: we're on holiday, be good]

Shouting across the offices of Miss Print Inc. this morning, Miss Print
(fragrant as ever, stockings and mascara only a little run from the
weekend's adventures) informed her staff that a total of 40 people on
Sinister currently live in the domain ".fr", and that a total of 255
".fr" addresses have graduated from the nursery since records began.
Being a wise old bat, she pointed out that of course this is merely the
tip of the iceberg where the Frenchness of Sinister is concerned, as
many french sinistereens will be safely ensconced in .com's, .org's,
.etc.  She suggested that a mail to Sinister asking if any of the 40+
live near Saumur might just elicit a response.

If anyone "fancies a pint", as Keith would say, between the 25th of
August and the 3rd September near Saumur, please do get in touch in the
next day or so, because we're going on hols there.  Although I'd rather
hope it would involve less pints and more lazy glasses of wine in
pavement cafes, slingbacks idly dangling from one's toe, heart
fluttering as one watches Johnny Depp in an outrageously striped
t-shirt playing boules with the equally gorgeous Juliette Binoche in
that film about chocolate.  Well that's what it said in the brochure.

If you email after Friday, include a mobile phone number I can send a
text message to in the first 160 characters of your email and I might
still see it, through the power of telepathy and mobile phones.  This
of course means I'll be away for the SINISTER FOURTH BIRTHDAY on August
27th, so I'd urge you all to treat the event with the gravity it
deserves when the 27th comes around, and air kiss each other for me.
"Oui Madame, les culottes roses..."

For the small proportion of the rest of you *not* living near Saumur
(and if you don't why don't you!), this is to say that the list will be
free-wheeling for a couple of weeks, and it is therefore YOUR
responsibility to BE GOOD!  If I come back and find you all crying with
scratch marks on your arms, stains on the carpet, broken toys in the
kitchen and plasticine all over my best sofa, I will HAVE WORDS!  All I
can do is urge you all to think before you post, don't start telling
each other what to post, and stop impersonating Tony Doogan(*).  You'll
have to be patient if you can't unsubscribe, or the archive breaks, or
indeed the whole thing falls in a heap, but it'll just make you
ridiculously grateful when I come back won't it?  As I keep telling
them all at work, to dubious blank stares back.

PF: Cookie spun some Mr Cole at the weekend and SANG ALONG.

(*) If you get a mail from MrRipley at ihavepms.com, it isn't Tony
Doogan.  Please discard.  Tony is neither 23 nor works for Jeepster, so
if you're thinking of impersonating him to promote your band, please do
a bit more research first.  Tony is a nice person who some of us know
from the chatroom.  You are neither.  It's not nice to impersonate
others and your sins will find you out.

On the subject of the archives, I'm still waiting for more space to
restore all four years' posts, the photos etc.  It's coming, I
promise.

Before I go, some *weekend news*.  If you go to

http://www.missprint.org/sinister/sillustrations/No003.html

you will see a surprisingly accurate artist's impression of absent
listee "Keith" by present listee Pookie.  Remarkable then that these
two listees, who come from before the Jurassic Period of Sinister when
we hadn't even passed our first birthday, actually met this weekend.
Pookie was celebrating her 19th birthday, and Keith his 115th.  Girl
atomz whizzed around, thumbs were raised in the traditional greeting of
"Cool! Sorted!", relative finger lengths were measured and
heterosexuality scales weighed.  As Carey pointed out, unlike most of
us Keith came out as very very heterosexual, as Aunt Sadie knew all
along: "<auntsadie> keith has a gay-o-meter reading of -12,
pathologically attracted to the opposite sex".  A good time was had by
all, I hope.  Oh and I was complimented on the quality of my Sea
Breezes by someone with a PhD in Vodka Studies.  Only those few who
have been on the list more than three years and/or have been in the
chatroom will be remotely interested in this paragraph.

<FILM SPOILER ALERT>

Anyway, in the course of the weekend's events in Edinburgh, we went to
see the UK premiere of Storytelling, you know, the film with the B&S
soundtrack, which turned out to consist of 20 seconds of The State I Am
In as a prelude to a boy-on-boy blowjob (blush), 20 seconds of
instrumental while running up stairs, and a rather nice song sung by
Sarah(?) as the credits rolled.  Oh and some plot and stuff, the kind
that makes the audience laugh in an uncertain way then WHACKS them on
the head with a magazine by flinging in a poignant bit to make them
feel guilty and stupid.  Apparently 2/3rds of the original film seems
to have ended up on the cutting room floor, including most of the
songs, and the remainder is, to this viewer's eyes, of limited appeal.
Scooby's flares were however magnificient.

Be GOOD,
Honey xxx

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