Sinister: A Joyous Occasion

[mummy i've grazed my knee]

And indeed it was.

I had just the loveliest time I've had in ages yesterday at the nicpic,
despite having to start travelling at 7 in the morning in order to get there
(although I feel rather humble after hearing how ArtsyDeco got there).

I had to put up with a pervy old man on the bus into Ipswich. I'm not a
violent person, but if he had looked at me in that way one more time,
I........

London was hot and full of chimney sweeps and children begging in rags. It
hadn't changed much since I last visited.
I managed to purchase a few choice records, including the JD 12" with poster
to complete my collection of CD, 7" and 12".

I arrived outside the Odeon to find people I didn't expect to see. Sam was
there with a funny leg that had a Geiger counter or something on the side
that could inflate and deflate his leg at will. he also hade skate kid
crutches that could be used for ice crutching because they had little pokers
on the end.

Peter Carter was there with a 4" rewritable digestive on the floor, but more
impressively, so was ArtsyDeco all the way from somewhere over there.

Carsmile Steve was confusing me because he was at Reading and in London and
because he thought the Moldy Peaches were great and I'm yet to appreciate
their genius.

Regents park was a lovely place to have a nicpic. Rob was describing
anteaters to me in grate detail as we went and I got quite excited. They are
furry with big noses apparently. He didn't know whether they actually ate
ants, but his boyish enthusiasm got to me and I just wanted to see these
marvellous creatures. Unfortunately we sat next to some camels with floppy
humps, but that was OK.

More people arrived which got me over the disappointment of the anteater
incident. Priscilla was lovely as ever and even James from Leicester was
there and it was spanking to see him again.

There were lots of people I hadn't seen before. Mark Bloomfield knew lots
about things in the world in general and was an oracle. Desmond Topey sat
patiently and I managed to avoid saying Desmond in a terrible Jamaican
accent.

On the other side, away from the tree with the dog poo were two new girls.
Carsmile suggested that they were from Poland which intrigued me a lot as I
once knew a lovely Polish girl called Ola. Well, one of these girls came up
and asked if I was Chris and if I came from the town of Ipswich (later
shunned by Trousers). It was Ola and I was very very overjoyed and full of
happiness to meet her and it was lovely and nice. I talked for a little
while until two more young ladies accosted me. They had tape recorders and
microphones and were recording documentaries for Radio 1 about corporate
whores and obsessive fans. I spoke lots but am worried that a) I will have
made a complete twat out of myself talking about sinister and b) I will have
made a complete twat of myself by slagging off the York Student Union of
which I am a member. Oh well.

This is going to be a long e-mail. Perhaps I should do it in instalments.
Oh! I'm in such a good mood now I might as well continue.

Carsmile and Sam laughed at my top 12 song writers of the last decade. I was
sad.

Mark Casarotto was angry. how can such a gentle man have so much hate?

Lots of people were forced to look at my photos and to make complimentary
comments about me posing with his Struanness. I hope everyone liked them.

After Sam had left and Stuart Hallifax had talked on the phone live from
waiting to see Elbow at Reading I talked to Ola some more.
Stevie Trousers paid me a flatteringly large amount of attention, I'm sure
there was no ulterior motive! He doesn't like Ipswich though, which is OK
because it is rubbish.

Ken Chu was there. He didn't do that much as he was on the phone for ages,
but he did manage the most seductive poses I have ever seen against a tree.

We went to the Spread Eagle and I scrounged a drink off James, even though
he had to sell his CD's to get to London. Mr. Apps was nice and we decided
there must be a sinister Christmas bash.

I had to go because I had nowhere to stay for Tigermilking, but it was the
loveliest time I have had since......oohhh......the 26th of June. Some of
you will know what happened then.

Thank you all for making me so happy.

Chris Jones.



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