Sinister: made-up dreams

[Blake]

hi,

this isn't a good night.  i'm just, well, sad.  the causes of my sorrows are
long and boring, but the most recent one occurring last week when i turned
21.  i feel so old.  i was more depressed than happy on my birthday.  i
sometimes think my parents should have explained to me,
when i was younger, that things grow old, things die, and things go away.
one of my best friends from long ago died in a car crash last month, and my
brother in law died too.  i just wish someone would have told me that there
are things that are so sad and so painful.  i guess it's because my parents
don't have any answers.  they're dealing with it too.  hm.

i'm a senior now (at wake forest university...i'm still waiting for another
wake person to be on this list..sigh) and i look at the freshmen and think
how incredibly puerile they all look.  it's laughable.  i find myself saying
things like "when i was your age" and "back when i was __, i did __".  now i
know what many of you may be thinking..."i'm 27.  don't tell me about being
old".  i've always thought i was somewhat accelerated in this emotional
development department.  as in, i think i'm going through coupland's mid-20s
crisis now.  yep, a little early.

other than that, i think i'm in love with audrey hepburn.  this is a good
crush for me because i don't think audrey will ever turn me down.  of
course, she's just a photo or a frame, so that's not much to comfort.

and with that, i must retire.
love
blake
the nerdy shy eyed pacifist
http://members.tripod.com/nucleartrout

aol IM: fatelwood (if anyone wants to discuss audrey hepburn movies...i'm
such a sucker)

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+