Sinister: A short kitchen conversation

[Sunset .]

The woman smiled fondly but sadly at the her daughter. They had been talking 
in the kitchen. The girl stood against the radiator looking down. Not daring 
to look up.
"I wish I could give you the confidence you deserve"
The girl bit her lip and didn't say anything. She wished that too, she 
wished there was a way to have corrective surgery and come away with 
enhanced self confidence. But then the girl wasn't sure she really deserved 
anymore confidence anyway.
The girl often wondered what it would feel like to have more confidence. 
Would she feel like other people then? Or did other people have as little 
confidence as her and they disguised it in different ways. She really didn't 
know. It seemed like a nice thing though, to have more confidence. The idea 
that she would be able to walk in to a room and feel as  good as anyone else 
in there, it seemed good. It would certainly beat walking into a room 
feeling inferior to everyone
else in it.But then the girl started to doubt herself again.
"Maybe I feel that way because I'm not as good as everyone else. "
She looked at her mother as she spoke. She already knew that her mother 
would disagree and tell her what a lovely person she was. The girl knew that 
she would listen  feeling a little better but all the while not quite 
believing it.
The girl wondered why there were people who seemed to want to knock any 
shred of confidence out of her. She could understand them disliking her but 
why did they want to put her down? People who had got to know her, people 
who she had once trusted and people who she had
told all of her secrets to. She wondered why they had suddenly started using 
them against her. She was having her worst insecurities thrown at her  by 
someone she used to trust. Her self confidence was battered and could slip 
away completely if she wasn't careful.
But she was careful, not about to give in, and she was lucky.
Some people have kind hearts they are caring and don't want to take you 
confidence away to build up their own. They stop you becoming cynical and 
stop you giving up on everyone. They allow you to believe that there are 
some things worth placing your trust in. The girl was lucky because she knew 
some of these people. And their kindness kept her going. She thought about  
this for a second, slouched against the radiator. She smiled. The girl felt 
she had the confidence to get through all of this.

*******
Take Care
Rachel


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