Sinister: Loneliness of the middle distance runaway thread (EXCLUSIVE Final episode!)

[Ken Chu]

"there's the turn in for 10 roddington place", said Murdoch.  Idles gently
turns the steering wheel.

"HOLY DUCKS!", Idles exclaimed, "The brakes aren't working!"  The car,
totally out of control, skids and overturns into the hedge.

"Is everyone alright?" asked Sunny.

"Aye, just a minor bruise that's all," said Murdoch, "Idles your driving
hasn't changed a bit".

"Ach, naw!" Idles shouted, "The brakes' been rigged, I wonder who can do
such a thing."

"Well at least everyone's safe, let's get back to work," said Jenni, "we can
claim the insurance back later"

So the gang crawls out of the upturned car, and made a few paces towards 10
Roddington Place, suddenly the upturned car exploded behind them.  "Fuck
me!", the ugly Gardner dame ejaculates, the V-bird stays silent but gave the
dame a cryptic twinch of her eye.

"Knock!" Idles banged on the door.

There was no answer.

"Knock! knock!" Idles banged on the door, waiting impatiently for someone to
shout out "Who's there".

"Who's there?"

"Oh shut up Murdoch you're not funny", Idles chides, "let's break through
the door without further ado".

"Aye, ado, ken" shouts murdoch

"No I SAID WITHOU..", as Idles was mumbling she sees Murdoch clutches his
hands generated a fireball that he fired into the door, the door was
instantly incinerated as well as the whole of the doorway.

"You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!", said V-Bird in her
pretend cockney accent with a hint of Birmingham twang that she couldn't
hide.  The gang giggled, but their giggles didn't last very long, the man
inside was dead.  Buried in his own peacock feather, drowned in his own
peacock juice.

"You burnt him to death you moron!" cried Idles "he was our only clue!"

"No, burnt wasn't his cause of death", said Jenni as she took off her blue
dufflecoat and puts on her white dufflecoat with pockets on it reveals a
badge, "Dr Jenni Quincy M.E.", it read.  She continued, "Look at the cuts on
his throat."

"Who cut him to death like this then??" asked Sunset.

"NOOOOO!" Exclaimed Dr Jenni, "DON'T YOU SEE!  His veins are saturated with
taurine!!  DON'T YOU SEE! He didn't die of the cut wound!  I think someone
is hiding something and sure as hell I'm gonna find it out!"  Jenni storms
out of the scene.  The rest of the group followed.

=====================================

Jenni finds her old friend, Laura Llew, who has the whereabouts of everyone
on both sides of the Atlantic Ocean after compiling a network of illegal
music trade, "I need your help," she said, "I need to locate Chu".

"I'm afraid no can do, i can find her i can find you, but I sure as hell
cannot find chu", said Laura Llew.  "I have cupid in my cellar, tho, if you
want him."

"No it's ok, I've had enough love recently after meeting JenOwl, she's been
in a girls only phase, I'll let you have her number one day", replied Jenni,
as she closed the door and walked out of the building.

"THUMP!" was the last sound Jenni hears before she slumps onto the ground.

====================================

Jenni woke up with her hands tied behind the chair, the room was pitch dark,
but no longer, the lights were turned on as she heard the flick of a finger,
and she knew exactly who he was, who else, can make a flicking noise with
only one finger?

"Chu!" Jenni said.

"Hello there," said Chu, "It is a pleasure, meeting Dr. Quincy herself,
normally it'd be even more of a pleasure when a gorgeous girl as you is here
tied up in my chair"  Jenni blushes, Chu continues, "but this time, I have a
favour to ask."

"What favour are you possibly going to ask!  Why don't you just poison me
with Taurine like you did to peacock!" said Jenni.

"I thought you were good.." said Chu "I'm disappointed, I ask you, did you
find any Glucuronolactone in the man's blood?"

Jenni's eye sparkled, "No!  You're right, if he was poisoned with bull's
blood he would have been heavy laden with Glucuronolactone!  How could I
have missed it!"

"Maybe you need some stimulation for the body and mind, my dear."  said Chu.

"Okay easy now, so I was wrong, but who was the killer?"  asked Jenni.

"The same man who was behide everything." said Chu, "and I need you to trap
him."

==========================================

Jenni wakes up the next morning dressed in nothing but a duvet, "Oh him",
she moans, but quietly grins, Vodka and bulls blood always gets the better
out of her.  Chu had already left, leaving only a note "You are my only
hope."

Jenni gathers up the gang, and sets out on their plan, "Honey's bar, at the
same time as when the Chinaman goes to the dentist", the gang nods.

At 2:30, the gang arrives at Honey's bar, "Ok, begin operation Purple
Furrydice"

Idles said "You may be wrong but I am right but Tennington is not the best
author ever"

The Narrow Wizard replied "That is not true but the word fuck is an acronym"

Jenni exclaimed "No, you silly people, you should make a badge that says 'I
love Ken Chu' on it"

The ugly dame said, "The worse football player ever is Andy Cole"

Suddenly, bursted through the door came a man, with a purple jumper looking
slight dazed but with one eye focused as acutely as Ken Chu is a cutey,
holding a glass of Gin and Tonic in his hand.  "Cole!" he shouted.

Jenni acts fast, as soon as the sight of the purple man is seen she grabs
hold of his arms and sets him into a full nelson.  "We've been expecting
you," said Jenni, "Mr Pine Fox".

"Lloyd Cole Lloyd Cole Lloyd Cole", the PF replied.

"Ah, it's been a long week, " said Idles in relief, "but finally, the ..."
before she could continue, she felt a gun pointed to her back.

"Finally, you are history, I think you mean, " the voice behind Idles said,
"you fucked in the head psycho fan"

"Editor, you're here!", said the PF.

"Steven Wells!" Idles shouts, "I should have known!"

"Well it's never late than never, but I'm afraid after this trigger, you'd
be gone forever", said Wells.

"That's rhymes fuckin' worse than Travis lyrics!!!" shouts sweetie as she
bursts into the room and disarms Steven Wells, "ok!  You slitty peepered
thirty year old man, you've played your final chord"

"Sweetie you saved us!  But what took you so long?" asked Idles.

"Um, why are you guys so early?  I got here now at 3pm, that's when my
Chinese friend went to the dentist last time"

The gang pats sweetie in the head, as the criminals were led to their cell.

====================================

A year later, the gang reunioned for a drink at honey's bar, and reminisced
that time last year when all hell were broken loose.  The group smiled and
sighed at the ups and downs, as Idles joked about everyone chipping in on
her insurance bill.

"You've missed out on all the action, little girl", Jenni gently whispered
to young Pika, "I wonder where your dad is now...", she quietly sighed and
looked upon the sky.

<The end>

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