Sinister: they let lisa go blind

[lindsey baker]

hello sinister. 

if any large boys in the vicinity of nebraska are in an
out-of-twee-character fighting mood, i have a boy. for you. to. attack.

and. in my mind. it would be best. if he were. well. maimed, maybe?

i have decided, finally, once and for all, to swear off anything with a
penis.

this may include dogs. and dolphins. 

it has been said that i am the cutest girl alive, and always having some
sort of love crisis, and this is probably true. well. the latter part, at
any rate. perhaps i will take some time now to provide an addition to my
valuable, oft heralded pulling tips. to foray into What Not to Say When
Dumping a Girl.

first things first:

if you have vague plans to get rid of a lady when you ask her over, DON'T
smother her with kisses when she arrives. it's just not nice.

that said, here is a nice list of DON'TS:

Don't say anything to the effect of "lindsey, you are so amazing." "lindsey,
you are beautiful." "lindsey, you are so good for me."

Don't say anything to the effect of "i just don't know what to say to you."
"you are so complicated....but but in a good way." "i don't know what i
want/i don't know what you want/i don't know what happened in the last few
days, really."

Don't say "lindsey, you're not the perfect woman." (not that any of us
thinks we are. this is just a bad context to throw out this sentence.
shitty, really.) 

Don't say "well, part of it IS that you don't do that." "i just have
different views than you, and i know we don't want to compromise our
beliefs." 

and by all means -- FOR THE LOVE OF GOD -- Don't say "remember how you said
he was searching for something in you that he needed to find within himself?
MAYBE THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM."

hmmm. this is a good start.

Do say "i am an asshole." repeatedly. maybe try groveling a little bit. and
the next day. if you see the girl you broke. don't be an asshole.

it's just not nice.

today i have drug out both the bright eyes and the 3..6..9 seconds of light.
and deicided. that i am. beautiful. i am. that song.

and i am. fucking tired.

but. i did have another cigarette, and i can smell the rebellious smoke of
the contraband cylinder clinging to my corduroy jacket like a faint, sticky
incense. i really like the way my chest has tightened. like i am forever
ready to burst.

into what, though, is the fear.

i told him he made me really happy and really scared at the same time. and
he spread over me like the smoke. and now.

i can't get him out.

i am a novice smoker who inhales without coughing, and now

my heart is paying the price.

misslindseylou





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