Sinister: i've looked through offices and honkytonks for a man man enough to be...mr and mrs tennessee.

[nafees saeed]

fake fire drills are possibly the most pointless thing ever.  actually, no.
they serve a purpose and i suppose we need them.  ok.  fake fire drills in
winter are possibly the most pointless thing ever.  i was sitting in my
english lesson cursing shakespeare for writing the tempest and cursing my
teacher even more for making us study it, then some siren/alarm/buzzer thing
goes off.  you could tell that it's the first chance that it's had to buzz
because the poor thing kept on choking then eventually it reached a constant
state of... buzz.  what i did find quite amusing though was the fact that
when confronted with a situation people completely disregard rules and
procedure.  for example "leave your stuff in the room", we packed everything
into our bags, "form orderly queues in the corridors and head down the side
stairwells"...about 500 people tried to hurl themselves down the main
staircase.  but, the funniest thing had to be the people adjusting their
make-up to go outside, i giggled all the way outside.  it was far too cold
outside and then the 'premises staff' ushered us all of into the  church
just nextdoor.  i just sat on a pew, put on my headphones and will oldham
told me about how he wants to fuck a mountain.

so here i am at home, will a red nose and cold fingers reading all your
posts.  bowling is a rather good idea, although i've always been extremely
crap at it, i still enjoy it.  i remember once when we went on a school trip
to go bowling and i got put in a group where everybody had extremely small
hands so they stole all the balls with small holes so i had to use a ball
which was far too heavy for me and i could just about fit my entire hand
through just one of the holes.  when it was my turn to have a shot or
whatever i went up and ran towards the line and when i swung my arm back to
get at least some power on it the ball flew out of my hand and made this
loud thudding sound on floor.  on further inspection we learnt that it made
a dent too, thus forever leaving my impression on the alley.  but yeah,
bowling sounds like a good idea.  i thought of another title to give out
too, "king/queen of the gutter".  the person who manages to get the ball in
the gutter the most times wins this prestigious title.  this would be good
for people like me who have no chance of being sinister bowling
champion...so in a way..."we're all winners".  i might be down in london at
my brother's for new year so i might tag along for that.

school trips in general were rather ace.  i remember the first one i went
on, to blackpool zoo.  it was back when you had to hold hands with your
classmates and your mum came along too.  the only bad thing was we went in
winter so all the animals were being lazy or were hiding.  in a way that's
good, i'm no longer scared of lions.  the best one was when we were studying
the tudors and we went to some old tudor mansion in sheffield.  we got to
dress up in all these costumes and hide in cupboards because they didn't
like roman catholics...apparently.  i remember acting really silly when they
told us how old the house was.  i thought it was going to fall apart so i
stepped really carefully because i thought i was going to fall through the
floorboards.  i'll never go on a school trip again because i'm too old
*sigh*.  it'd be worth becoming a teacher just to go on them.  keeping with
this theme of nostalgia, my brother came up this weekend.  it's great when
my brother comes up, he tells me all about stock markets and how the world
would collapse if it wasn't for his group.  we ended up driving around and
we ended up at our old street.  i don't remember much about living there so
i wasn't to affected but my brother was.  he got really giddy, "i used to
play cricket against that wall...the guy who lived there was a real knob".
it was really funny.  the only thing i remember about living there was when
my dad spent the whole day constructing a gate for our driveway then being
really proud of himself because he managed to do it by himself, then my mum
goes "you haven't painted it".  then my dad got really pissed off and stayed
up way past midnight painting it just to prove something to my mum.

i started work last thursday, i don't do much...but i suppose getting paid
for not doing much is the way forward.  i was however, fifteen minutes late.
which wasn't my fault, but that of first bus company and it is a well known
fact that first buss company are the root of all the wrongs in the world.
there "gold service to manchester every 5 minutes" promise is such a lie.
it should be "a bus to manchester every 20 minutes if the driver can be
arsed to stop for you" service".  and i had to stand because some bloke
needed a seat for his feet, and i was too scared of him to ask him to move
them.  the building i work in is rather nice too.  it's got one of those
really old lifts (elevators...) which need to be manually operated.  the guy
who operates them is exceptionally small and doesn't look you in the eye,
but that's ok.

---

my local record store sells copies of "i'm waking up to us" for £6.99,
that's wrong surely.

b&s on jools was rather ace.  jools got a gold disc too...on television.  i
think it's for one of those albums where he invites people round to his
house and they perform other people's songs but they get the credit for it.
i don't think jools liked them much, i think he was a much bigger fan of the
buzz scaggs or whoever.  at first i thought they were doing some sort of
special effects until my mother informed me that my younger cousin had been
around earlier and put magnets on the television thus creating a "rainbow"
effect.

goths are great, they utilise bin liners in ways i would have never of
imagined.

take care,

nafees.



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