Sinister: bowling a maiden over

[Rachel Playforth]

<smut summary>
incidence of the word 'sex' and its cognates in the following post: 3
incidence of the word 'pornographic': 1
incidence of the word 'dirty': 1
incidence of the word 'twat': 1
<end of smut summary>

my first post in my alternate identity of a real working person, joining
the massed ranks of skiving dogsbodies posting from the far edge of
boredom. i feel guilty already.

so much has happened on sinister lately, passing by in front of my eyes
as i sit at my little desk and point shy foreign students in the
direction of grammar books and non-pornographic websites.  i can't
remember half the things i wanted to respond to.

but has anyone else noticed that although ken chu gets mentioned in
nearly every post, and never in less than glowing terms, he still
complains about no-one loving him?  some people don't know they're born.
 (which always struck me as a bizarre expression, but i feel i should
use it.)  or is it just that cyber-adoration doesn't translate into
real-life begging for sex?  in which case he deserves our sympathy, of
course :)

despite ken's obvious personality disorder, i like his idea of going
bowling over the festive season.  the big lebowski makes it quite clear
that it's the slacker's sport of choice, and therefore especially
appealing to lazy post-slackers such as myself.  however, there's still
far too much potential for making a twat of yourself.  you know how when
you bowl properly you sort of stick your leg out behind you in that
particular way - just looking at that move makes me despair.  some of
you, unfortunately, have seen me dancing (and so you all know i'm soft)
and therefore also know that i have the grace and co-ordination of a
dead camel.  so, i can't go bowling.  or not until i've signed up for
the exciting new 'street dance workout' offered by the sports centre at
this noble university.  i'm sure that once i've had a few sessions, you
won't be able to get me away (i'm dying) from the ddr machine.  so look
out, sex-starved young men from milton keynes... 

the peerless princess madeleine wrote:
"and I fear I may have missed my 
chance to swap mittens for sexual favours, or whatever the sinister kids
did 
back in the day."
it was scarves, actually - an initiative spearheaded by myself and
jenowl if memory serves.  and i've just got a new lot of wool from my
gran...

while i was at my gran's house i also trawled through the old children's
books and 7 inch records in her spare room, coming back with joan aiken,
ursula le guin, brambley hedge, aretha franklin, dusty springfield and
donovan.  listening to the b-side of 'atlantis' by the latter was SPOOKY
- it's called 'i love my shirt' and is the exact same sort of hurdy
gurdy whimsy as 'i love my car'.  someone else pointed out that stuart's
odd new singing voice is actually in a donovan style.  this can't be a
coincidence, surely? 

speaking of the new single, idleberry *really* doesn't like it, huh? 
glad to see strong opinions, sensibly expressed, on the list again - but
surely, m'lud, some leniency for marx and engels?  in all fairness, b&s
produced worse than that (or more mediocre if you like) even in their
supposed golden age.  i'm never too happy about suggesting a straight
downward trajectory in the work of any band, anyway - it's hardly ever
that simple.  callow mistakes can darken the most glorious debut, while
moments of brilliance might still appear in the most limping, decrepit
effort.  or to put it another way, marx and engels is better than, say,
modern rock song.  or the boy done wrong again.  or rollercoaster ride. 
or (obviously) before the sunrise.  um, so there.

oh look, i've wasted a whole hour.  better go and assist some resources.
(hi liz!)

!viva rachels (though i'm having an identity crisis now our name has
been taken in vain - lucky i'm really an archel, a very different thing
i assure you.)

luv archel xxx 

ps. sorry astrid - struan's definitely taken.  he mentioned his
girlfriend when he emailed me (perhaps to stop me getting any funny
ideas?)

ps. i *would* crush on you, rachel pancake, but i'd feel like a dirty
old woman :)


*******************
Rachel Playforth
Resources Assistant
Sussex Language Institute
University of Sussex
Falmer, Brighton
BN1 9QN
++44 (0)1273 678006
*******************





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