Sinister: scary yelling

[Kenneth P Y Chu]

In the spirit of "Storytelling", this e-mail is in two parties...

Party over Here
==============
Hello,

Those who know me well (basically just me), would know that I ritually read 
through all my sinister e-mails the first thing at work, to relief my 
boredom.

Now that you all know of my ritual, you can imagine my horror when, only one 
person seemed to have posted between the time when I went to bed and when I 
got to work (which incidentally makes erin now my best friend).  So I was 
e-mailless from 9:30am - leaving 7 hours of 30 minutes of OBH - Office 
Boredom Hell staring me straight in the face.

Then, like the apple that struck Newton's head, an idea hit me.  So I typed 
in http://www.missprint.org/sinister and without a pimper or a whore, 4 
years' worth of archived written words were suddenly at my mercy.

And is having a good memory a good thing?  I've asked myself that question 
many times, but I could never remember the answer.  As I luxuriated inside 
the sinister chronicles, every time I click on a link I seem to get a case 
of "nostalja vu" - "hey I think I've read this one before!"; "Haha how did I 
forget someone saying that"; "oh those were the days"; etc.

Those were the days indeed.

Last year, someone mentioned this almost straight away (heh, check the 
archives); This year, I am appalled that nobody has mentioned it, so I'm 
going do it right now.

Oooh, http://www.missprint.org/sinister is now *sn*ow*in*g!*  Isn't that 
nice?

<The End>


Fuck you over there
=================
So yes, we meat again,

Now, I know that I look quite passable (the many ambiguities of the word in 
this occasion was deliberate, make of it what you will) in my suit and tie, 
but I appear to be attracting quite the suitors that I had not bargained 
for.

For the past few days I have noticed that whenever I walked through the 
corridor of my office I would see this guy who would keep looking at me, in 
a rather camp and tentative way.

At first I thought maybe I'd put my glasses on the wrong way round, or maybe 
my flies were undone, but over time I am starting to believe that I have 
procured myself an office crush, but now with the flattery over I am 
beginning to get a little worried - what if he askes me out to "do lunch"?

Would it be rude to say no?  What's the equvalent of "I'm washing my hair" 
during lunchtime?  I'm combing my hair?  I don't know.

What if we, meet, at the toilet?  I've had a track record you know - 
strangers kept wanting talk to me in the loo.  What is the secret of my 
sudden charm at the washroom?  Maybe they caught a glimpse, and admired the 
length of my hair?

Good heavens.  There won't be much I can do would there?  Maybe I can 
finally utilise my years of pratice, and make a giant discharge of, spit, 
and elegantly splash it into the urinal in the ugliest possible manner - 
yes, that'd surely be a turn off?  Unless he may begin to admire my 
phlegmbuoyancy.. oh that'd be the end of me.

<The End>

Crushes and Red Bulls
Ken
P.S.: God's sake, just as I was about to post about the list archive 
Madeleine beat me to it.
P.S.2.: God's sake, just as I was about to post about the fact that someone 
wants my ass Archel beat me to it.

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