Sinister: The state urine

[Kenneth P Y Chu]

I was having a wee in the toilet at around midnight last night, and suddenly 
I remembered...

... TODAY IS "SHIT!  BELLE & SEBASTIAN GIG IS NEXT WEEK!" DAY!!!

as I jumped up and down in excitment, and sprayed wee everywhere.  And thus 
had to clean up for a while.  I shitted myself as well, but metaphorically 
this time, as I haven't yet received my tickets!  I booked them ages ago, 
arrrrgh!  If they don't come soon I'll go.  Mad!

Before I continue, please take a second to look behind you and see what's 
there!

During that second you took, I've totally changed the topic of this e-mail, 
now I'm going to tell you what all the fun things in life are:

1) Going into the cinema with a JUMBO (1.5 litre) sized coke, and come out 
of cinema H!Y!P!E!R! and in need of toilet.
2) Singing along and making those bollocks-grabbing high notes in "Unchained 
Melody".
3) Singing along to love songs and changing every occurance of the word 
"love" with the word "muff".
4) Combining 2 and 3.
5) Going bowling.

Yes!  Don't forget 29th Dec is INTERNATION SINISTER BOWLING DAY!  The London 
bowling massive is gathering force, we have almost enough indiekid arms to 
lift an 8lb ball now - that's quite a lot of indiekid arms indeed!  But we 
want more!  So, whether your name is Asiuah, Emmanuel, or Dancing, come!

And I swear that I don't have a pun.

I like how the Corduoy Boy subtly implied that I'm not nice.  Hehe 
brilliant.  But honestly tho I am actually a nice person, apart from the 
fact that I steal beer from little children, and sweets from adults.

I agree with what he said about Jazz tho, I love my Jazz, I have magazines 
all about it, too.

Ken
P.S.: By the way, provided that I can get my car fixed this weekend, I shall 
be driving up to Glasgow, possibly the night before, if any of you live 
along the M1 (up to junction twenty-whatsit), the M6 or the M82(the one from 
M6 to scotland?)  wants a lift up there I can possibly provide - only 
problem is I don't know when I'm driving back down yet (it's the start of my 
13 day break so I might spend some time looking at the beauty - um 
freezingness - of Scotland..) but let me know we can work something out - 
you might be the person to share my petrol money or buy me drinks.

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