Sinister: Like (no longer) an Offbeat virgin, touched for the very first (and not last) time...

[Richard Cottyn]

Yes indeedy. Finally made my 'debut' as it were at Sheffield Offbeat last
week. I wasn't quite drunk enough to dance (though maybe next time!) so I
sat in one of the corners singing along to anything I knew and loved (ie The
Smiths mainly and of course, our beloved b&s).

Sinister quote of the week: "There might even be prizes for Twee-est bowling
action"-Posted by Ben Apps.   I was laughing at this for ages-not quite sure
why exactly, but I could just imagine lots of Sinisterines walking up to the
lane on their go and attempting a bowling swing of an incredibly twee
nature.

Is that what I should call everyone-Sinisterines? Or is it Sinisterettes? Or
is that one just for ladies?
And How about Sinisterars? Sinisterees? Somebody please clarify this because
it's beginning to annoy me. I won't be able to sleep tonight through not
knowing the right one-so please be quick with your clarifications!

And now, a charming little story that you will no doubt leave you going
"that was a charming little story".

I have a Saturday job in a department store where the average customer age
is about 60. I went in last week for 11, and I was a couple of minutes late.
A work colleague said to me "you're nice and early Richard" and i thought
she was been sarcastic. It turned out though that I wasn't supposed to be in
til 12! grrr! So i thought, I'll go to Fopp (good, cheap record store) and
buy some CD's. Thats when Tracey (supervisor) stops me and says "Ooo,
Richard-could you go and buy a CD for me-its a Christmas present for my
daughter". So i said "yea sure". Tracey says "she wants it you see...they
are her favourite band at the moment...erm...'so solid crew' i think they
are called."

I have a quick glance around for Jeremy Beadle.

At this point, the advent calender falls off the wall-it was obviously
suffering from shock too!

I (grudgingly) said "yes, sure, I'll go and get it" and i made sure the man
in the record store knew it wasnt for me! I also think I managed to pick it
off the shelf without anyone noticing! I should be a secret agent.

I managed to find Felt's 'Absolute Classic Masterpieces' too at long last-I
don't think Tracey understood when i told her about the little dance of joy
i did down the 'rock&pop' aisle.

Anyways, thats it from me! (Shouts of Hurrah from the back...)

I hope santa brings you all nice things!

Richard x

P.S. Please appreciate the Christmas kiss I have so generously given you!

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