Sinister: either way i´m dead.

[Astrid Wiezell]

Hey Sinister,

how are you all? Well, I haven´t posted for quite a while. I wrote a long, long, longer post some time ago, but then when I was about to send it, something went wrong and it all got erased, and since then I´ve felt too tired to write a new one.

Christmas came, and then it left me with lots of fabolous present as eight CDs, a new chair for my room, two new gorgeous cd-racks, two t-shirts, three boks, a rhyming dictionary, and the cutest thing, a black candleholder with goldletters around it saying "Stuart", this was made by my really sweet kind-of-sister (dad´s girlfriend´s daughter, as I´ve explained LOTS of times before) and underneath it it said, aslo with goldletters "Made with love from Stuart Murdoch to Astrid Wiezell" which I found quite amusing. I gave her a Strokes-wallcalendar fro 2002, which was highly appreciated. Oh, I didn´t buy it, I made it. And then I bought Strokes-vinyl-stuff for her. Did I mention that her favourite band is the strokes?

I´ve given up on that 13-yr-old now. Not because of what someone else thinks, but just because he seems like such a superficial snob. And I definetly don´t like superficial snobs, so when I realised that, my feelings went away quit quickly. 

Do you want to hear something really, and I mean *really* strange? I´m going to tell you anyway. Well, last nite (well, the night between yesterday and today) I was lying in my bed, listening to Ryan Adams and I thought "FUCK, I hate being alone and I *HATE* sleeping alone in my bed, cause it makes me feel even lonelier" and about ten second after that thought, I listened to what Ryan sang, and what do I hear? 

"But, tonight you´re sleeping alone
 Without him
Tonight you´re sleeping alone
 Without him"

And I went like "WHOA!" because of several reasons:

a) I know for a fact that I hadn´t read those lyrics or heard that song ever before
b) he only sang that line for the first time when I heard it, I´ve checked and he wasn´t even mentioning it before in that song
c) Something like that had never happened to me before

Isn´t it strange? I think it´s really weird. Anyway.



A couple fo days ago I realised that I think I´ve become a more happier person, not always, but in general. Because I am so much confident with myself and all that. I dunno, though. 

I kind of realised it when I was going to get off the bus when it came to my bus stop a couple of days ago, it amy have been yesterday but I think it was the day before that, my memory is crap, but anyway, because of the ENORMOUS amoutns of snow in Stockholm right now, the buses stop at real strange places and you have to kind of jump off or else you´re going to land in a big pile of snow, so you have to try and jump over it. The bus was full with people and when I landed I kind of slipped, and I didn´t fell over, but I was damn close to, and I made lots of strange gestures with my hands and legs and all that, trying to stand up straight and not fall over. And I just, didn´t feel strange about it.

it was more like "Oops, heh heh" and I strated to walk, but if that had happened to me about three months ago maybe, I´d be horribly embarrassed and be like "OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS LAUGHING AT ME" and feel really ashamed. But I didn´t. And it felt so good, so damn GOOD, being able to laugh about it and just don´t care. I haven´t been able to do that for, well, any part of my life, but I feel so much more selfconfident and just.. well, glad nowadays.

Maybe I´m growing up or something. Oh, wait, I can recall me laughing hysterically whilst listening to the song "Meatballs in your nose" with the chorus

You shouldn´t put
meatballs in your nose
Marcüs
you can´t put
meatballs there
stop putting
meatballs in your nose
Marcüs
you shouldn´t put
them there

today, and also listening to songs like "You´ve got dandruff" and "Dirty underwear" and laughing madly to that too. So, no, I haven´t grown up yet. But the meatballsong is just HILARIOUS, a guy singing it with a german accent, in swedish of course, oh and I haven´t met a single person yet not to have laughed about it. What does that say about my friends? (Don´t answer that!)


So, yesterday was Sinister International Bowling Day if I´m not wrong, but I might be, as I´ve already mentioned, my memory is not the best. Anyway, I hope you all had a great time and had fun.

I´ve talked about Ryan Adams already, but I´m going to mention him again. I got Gold for christmas, and it´s just such an amazing album, and Mr Adams´ beautiful voice keep me company wherever I go now, even in this very moment. I´m going to go see him when he comes to Sweden, I MUST or else I´ll.. ok, not DIE, but almost! 

I long for the Strokes´ gig on the 4th of March, it´s going to be great and I think that I´m going to get a backstagepass as well, not sure yet, but I just might. It would be so nice. AH. 

Yesterday before I fell asleep I thought about the dilemma: Julian Casablancas wanting me to come along to his room, would I say yes or no? Well, if that was the only question, I´d say yes, oh yes, but Amanda is almost obsessed wiht him so I´d hurt her badly if I did. So I wouldn´t. He´s not my favourite Stroke anyway. I like Nick Valensi, but also Fab Moretti. I just like Nikoali Fraiture because he always seems so shy and insecure and lost. 

Our internet at home is gone, so I´m at my grandparent´s house now, sitting at their comupter, don´t worry though, my mum is paying for it. Our internet connection + nice channels as VH1 and MTV2 is going away from my life, but as well as that my mum´s husband is, because he payed for that, but I must say I´m glad about it. He was one of the strangest persons I´ve ever known. He lived with us for ten years, and I still didn´t really know him. Awfully strange man, but now he´s gone, yes!
they´re not divorcred, but I guess they´re going to, which is for everyone´s best.

Before I quit, I of course  have to say "hullo" to some people;

*Corduroy Boy (the mixtape is brilliant, gorgeous! But come to Sweden!)
*Lindsey Baker (kittenmittens! yay! thank you!)
*Joe Vester (not for any special reason, but he´s just really cool)
*JohnJohn (haven´t heard from you for quite some time now..)
*Paul (thank you SO MUCH for the B&S-video! It´s SO good, i watch it every day!)

Sorry if I forgot anyone, but it wasn´t because i want to be mean, oh, yes, i remebered one more: AN Monchihi! My little snowangel, hi to you too!



So goodnight Sinister boulevard, goodnight
see ya soon
goodnight Sinister boulevard, see you sometime

Astrid x

Goodnight, sinister boulevard




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