Sinister: if it's that kinda party, i'm gonna stick my dick in da mashed pataters

[stacey dahling]

So Christmas is over. But Athens seems unwilling to release it from its 
long, blood-red, manicured talon grip. I ventured into the city center to be 
swallowed into swarms of scary shoppers and skinny Santas, some pulling 
along tiny ponies. Mimes, street musicians, magicians, balloons, people, 
people, people. It was a bit frightening. A bit exciting. And I felt lost, 
caught unawares, with neither kids nor friends in tote, no money to spend on 
holiday shopping, no camera to at least capture the action. There weren’t 
even any after-Christmas sales! I was confused. Still am.
I had a simply fantastic holiday though. On the Wednesday prior to 
Christmas, I hopped on a bus and had an action-packed five-hour journey 
north to spend a week with Ms. Velocity Girl herself, Kalliope. I had a 
front-row seat, which afforded me a fantastic view of the winter wonderland 
that existed 20 minutes north of Athens. It was breathtaking, and unexpected 
- rolling fields of white, snow-covered purple peaks everywhere I looked. I 
grew excited. It WAS Christmas! It was a bit nipply when I left Athens at 3 
p.m. and the temperature swiftly plummeted along the way. By the time we 
stopped for our 15-minute break at 5:30, it was downright freezing - the bus 
driver decided to have some giggles by locking us out of the bus for 10 
additional minutes. When we started up again, the sun had set and a silent, 
serious tone fell over the entire bus as the driver inched along to avoid 
certain death on the icy roads. It was rather silly, but fun all the same. I 
love emergency mode. When we passed through little villages, you could see 
villagers coming together to shovel out the main road and central square. 
They huddled in cafes and peered out of houses at anyone who dare venture 
outdoors.
When I arrived in Volos, it was only 8 p.m., but the place was deserted, 
like a ghost town! More than 100,000 residents and only five could be seen. 
There were no taxis. I stood for a few minutes, watching my breath mist and 
fall heavily like ice, my teeth chattering, my bones vibrating, my toes 
freezing, before giving up and beginning to skate along the ice-covered 
sidewalks to the city center. Along the way I passed a city bus terminal and 
had the brilliant idea of taking a bus. The guy told me there would be one 
coming in five minutes, so I bought a ticket and waited with this friendly, 
frightening chap. When I got to Kalli’s apartment I never wanted to leave 
again. So warm and cozy. Mmm. I felt like the biggest wimp, this New England 
girl moaning about a spell of Grecian winter. But the television did say it 
was -7 Celsius that night so I think I was justified. My God! -7! I’m not 
entirely sure how cold that is, but considering it hardly ever dips below 10 
here, it was quite dramatic. And now that I’m back in Athens, it’s up arouns 
17 again. Ha! Insanity!
Anyway... my resolution to stay indoors did not last long. Soon we were 
outside again, running along the beach, the SNOW-COVERED BEACH, making snow 
angels and burying the dog and hurtling snow-covered objects at each other 
and trying to shake big clumps of snow off the bamboo sun umbrellas. A mist 
was coming off the sea, and the whole scene was surreal. And SO FUCKING FUN! 
I felt like I was 10 years old again. Afterwards we walked to the video 
store to stock up on horror films. Walking, however, was a bit difficult, 
considering the fact that every surface was covered with at least two inches 
of solid ice. So we developed this crazy glide, and skated arm in arm down 
side streets, singing awful South Park and Christmas tunes.
We spent a good chunk of time and money at the supermarket, stocking up on 
supplies to make enough soup and pie to take us well into the new year - if 
we didn’t eat it all within the week. Oops. Hell, It’s the holidays! Isn’t 
the whole point of it to eat, drink and be merry? Well, we did all that, in 
mass quanities.
Oh what a spectacle we must have made, pushing an overflowing shopping 
carriage home through the streets covred with ice and slush. And later, when 
we headed to the local park with scary ski hats pulled low, large knives in 
hand on our way to cut some evergreen branches for our Christmas ‘tree.’ We 
took the branches home, stuck them in a planter’s pot, tied them together 
with a bit of twine, and spent the rest of the night decorating it with 
balls of crumpled newspaper we painted and other random items.
We also had an impromptu ghetto dance party. Inspired by my ghetto-looking 
ski hat, perhaps? Kalli popped on her Ice-T record and demonstrated how she 
could shake her ass, ghetto style and I was duly impressed. Shocked, in 
fact, by how bad-ass she truly is, deep down. No twee motherfucking in that 
house. Give Kalliope a ski mask and she looks like she could pop your ass. 
Shit, g-friend! Before long we were both bouncing to Cypress Hill and the 
Beasties.
On the last night we shaked our asses a bit to a more subdued beat - that of 
Belle and Sebastian! At a café! It was completely unexpected. We decided it 
was high time we left the house and met a few of Kalliope’s friends at a 
café. The DJ played FIVE B&S songs! And other amazing songs in the meantime, 
including Heavenly and Love and a whole block of The Smiths. I was shocked. 
Yay!
What else? I don’t know, it’s all a blissful haze. We were going to write a 
joint post but couldn’t find the time in all the fun we were having! HA! 
Okay, so perhaps that was a bit mean, but it’s kinda true. To be honest, I 
never expected to have such a fantastic holiday. I was feeling a bit down 
about spending my first Christmas away from home, and my family was treating 
me like a big traitor for being away. I didn’t think it would be a real 
Christmas without the cheesy movie and music marathons, the pecan pie and 
huge fragrant tree and evil grandmother evasion tactics. But it was in some 
ways better! There was no tradition, so we kind of made up the rules as we 
went along, throwing together bits of tradition, which resulted in 
interesting combinations. Like tiropita, curry, and apple pie. Ha! There 
were no annoying relatives to entertain. No reason to wake up at a certain 
time. No expectations. It’s a Christmas I’ll never forget.
Actually, Kalliope’s apartment has begun to feel like home for me anyway. 
And after each visit, Kalliope and I feel more and more like sisters. To 
think, it was sinister that brought us together! Ah, what would I do without 
you, dear sinister? I also liked how Christmas day was punctuated by a 
steady stream of well-wishing text messages from others in the sinister 
family, and how that night #sinister was hopping with listees trying to 
escape their real families. Aww.

I’ve spent the final days of 2001 listening to punk covers of the cheesiest 
songs of all time. ‘Mandy,’ ‘Puff the Magic Dragon,’ ‘Don’t Cry For Me 
Argentina.’ They are surprisingly fantastic. All from Me First and the Gimme 
Gimmes. I have 11 of them, and I keep playing them over and over again. Then 
I started crying when I heard the Cheers theme song. “Sometimes you wanna go 
where everybody knows your name.” It’s sad, non?
Then there’s the Lionel Richie. The original, no covers there. My former 
flatmate, Emilie, once tried to single-handedly resurrect Lionel’s career. 
It was about the same time as a new greatest hits album was released, and 
she thought it was perfect timing for a comeback. She decided to start in 
our apartment, of course. Until then I had never realized how much Lionel I 
knew. More than you’d think. He is quite classy. And now ‘Dancing on the 
Ceiling’ makes me want to dance all over my cold marble floors.
This morning I blasted the punk covers and Lionel and.. Queen! And my 
flatmate was so startled she actually left her beserk cleaning frenzy to 
come in my room and ask “Are you playing Lionel Richie??? Just had to make 
sure.” I think it was a statement more than a question. I think maybe she 
was trying to imply something. Hmm. At least I wasn’t crying at the time.
I’ve been playing a hell of a lot of Alchemy lately. It’s this strategy game 
from Shockwave.com that Kalliope got me addicted to. I’ve managed to ace it 
enough to make it to the very final level, which I of course cannot 
complete. Argh!
Last night I made granola. As in, I took rolled oats, wheat flakes, barley 
flakes, peanuts, maple syrup, honey, raisins and other dried fruit and baked 
it. Which presupposes that I was in the supermarket, regarding rolled oats 
and wheat flakes with interest. This is weird for me, in case you didn’t 
know. I’m still reeling. Today I plan on making my own garden burgers with 
the mince soya product I also bought in the grains section. I don’t think 
I’ve ever stood for more than five seconds in the grains section. Whoa.

Sadly, there was no bowling in Athens on Saturday. I considered it and even 
called Joanna. But she was in her father’s village up north. So. Yeah.
Her absence also means I have no New Year’s Eve plans as of yet, which 
disturbs me a bit more. Traditionally I have welcomed in the new year by 
dancing my ass off to cheesy Top 40 and ghetto rap in a squalid club with my 
little sister and her best friend. I was willing to make do this year by 
dancing my ass off in a cheesy oldies club or even an indie club, but it 
looks unlikely. Coral doesn’t really celebrate New Year’s Eve, she told me 
yesterday, but might be convinced to hang out downtown as a cultural 
experience or something. This is kind of appealing. I mean, when I was 
little I used to watch the festivities in New York City and wish I was 
there. And now I actually live in a huge city, a 10-minute bus ride away 
from the biggest party in the country. I should go, non? Yeah. I just don’t 
want to go alone. Something about being alone on New Year’s Eve depresses 
the hell out of me. It’s bad enough not having anyone to kiss at midnight, 
at least I can console myself with the fact that I’m with other important 
people. Blech.

Ah well.
Happy New Years lovies..
MWAH
~dahling

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