Sinister: kedgeree and chips

[toescantalk at xxx.com]

Alright people of the new millenium,

Don't feel pressurised. It's just bad timing. A bit like this morning when I woke up and realised I was a salmon and that I'd have to swim up stream to spawn. Sometimes I just prefer a nice cup of tea. What I really wanted for Christmas and no one got me was a fish ladder. It's not much to ask is it? All I want to do is avoid hydropower turbines. What is a boy to do? Things like Napster, monkey baiting and the Public Spending Borrowing Requirement seem pretty trivial when you're climbing a fish ladder. Don't stop till you reach the top, or if you do at least spawn. That's what I say. As Britney sings eruditely, "The clock is tickin' and we can't stop, Open a soda pop, Bop-shi-bop-shi-bop." I couldn't put it better myself even if I'd payed more attention while being educated. Wasn't Tom Cruise soda pop? Do you think she wants a piece of his ass?

Sometimes I like to get some popcorn and sit and watch the banter beteen these Peter Miller and Pinefox characters. I'm just not sure whether they're snogging in real life too. Does anyone know? They really could be the new Dirty Den and Angie, which Eastenders has never sufficiently replaced in my opinion. They got close with Robbie and Wellard I guess. But Wellard has much nicer hair than Angie.

I too have this Kings of Convenience CD of which someone Sleeky spoke of, is that another word for greasy? It does indeed look like they could be making it as there was a big display in HMV of the little CD's. Bless 'em. I wonder if they can afford to buy their own food yet? But I'm glad someone mentioned Hue and Cry too. What an ace soul combo the brothers Kane were. A true labour of love indeed. Well I loved their labour, truly. Almost as much as I love Darius from pop stars. Sometimes the prospect of marriage seems outmoded, but then you imagine Darius in a white wedding dress and it all makes sense. Much like kedgeree. Why didn't I know about these Pop Stars auditions? I do a cracking version of Life is a Rollercoaster (you have to hear me na na na na) and someone said my dancing makes Kermit the Frog look stable. Which is a compliment isn't it? Oh well I'm going to write a letter to ITV demanding Warren is re-instated then I'm going to write to Ken Livingstone with a one !
!
!
line letter saying "what is it that you actaully do?". Oh don't blame me blame it on the weatherman... It wouldn't be so pluvial otherwise.

Te ra,

Martin

P.S Anyone heard the new Constant Spray e.p "I knew a Frenchman once, he claimed to be from Belgium, but as if anyone would own up to that?" I'm just not sure about it existentially.


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