Sinister: It catches my heart in its hands

[Brier Random]

This is my first posthumous post.  That's right, i died sometime last week,
but i'll still try to remain part of the group.  They say you can only
become truly famous after you're dead, so i try not to be sad because now
it's gonna happen.  A thousand mourners line the streets, waving colored
tail-feathers at the funeral motorcade.  Their hero is back, coffin-sized.
My last words were something like: "Milos, I badly miscalculated the
counter-spin.  I have fallen from the altar of love!!"

What does Bukowski say about all this?
"Love is all right for those who can handle the psychic overload.  It's like
trying to carry a full garbage can on your back over a rushing river of
piss."

Okay then.  Since i failed to jump on the bandwagon when we were making
dirty versions of B&S song titles, here's my contribution:
"Ease Your Meat Into The She"

And if that wasn't content enough, i figure anything relating to Scotland
will qualify.  So:

TOP TEN PUNCHLINES TO SCOTTISH DIRTY JOKES:

10. It took me a fortnight to remove the thistles
9. I didn't know you could also get wool from them!
8. It's not a bagpipe, but don't stop playing
7. What made you think I was talking about golf?
6. I've heard of comin' through the rye-- but this is ridiculous!
5. Of course she's served millions-- she's a McDonald
4. Oh, so YOU'RE Wade Boggs
3. Care to shake hands with the Loch Ness monster?
2. Who's burning argyles?
1. She's in the distillery making Johnnie Walker Red

And today was so warm & sunny, it was truly like summer.  So i was riding my
Vespa around, singing "I Know Where The Summer Goes".  And nothing evokes
the feeling of summer like that song.  Try singing "when your underarm
smells and your kitchen looks like hell" on a beautiful hot day and you'll
see what i mean.  Even "if you're scraping a pot and your head is hot" does
it.  Amazing.

I guess i just miss everything i ever had.  Know what i mean?  Why can't
things stay the same?  I mean i REALLY MISS EVERYTHING I EVER HAD.  This
includes the bad too, but mostly the good.

Just living until you die is hard work.

Posthumously yours,
Brier

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