Sinister: Son of If B & S Were 14 Year Old Japanese Schoolgirls

[Rob Lorenson]

I haven't posted in a long, long time.  Today I was forced against 
my will to listen to the Jpop group "Tampopo," which is a group of 4 
14 year old Japanese girls all wearing frilly black and pink 
burlesque-style outfits and big pink top hats, so they kind of look 
like the Mad Hatter if he was a stripper.  Their first song was pretty 
horrid, something about frilly girly things and skipping through 
Kyoto and flowers and crap.  The second song was pretty much 
the same, and my friend who was driving in the car was grinning 
her big bad-teeth grin and chuckling and saying something in 
Japanese that ain't in any textbooks (my friend is from Osaka, if 
anyone cares, and she's a strange girl).  Then the third song came -
- and the both of us swear that the girl in Tampopo started singing 
about "Okama" -- male homosexuals, and "resubian" -- lesbian.  
And that got me thinking -- what if B & S were 14 year old 
Japanese schoolgirls singing about the same subjects that they do 
now.  The exact same songs.  Would they be as popular?  Or 
would people think that they were complete freaks?  Would we all 
be writing to each other on the list, and meeting each other in 
clubs, and wearing silly T-shirts, and walking through the grocery 
store singing "dirty dream number two" at an audible level, or 
screaming every time Chris or Stuart or Isabelle or Mick or Etc. got 
on stage, or pissing off the annoying people who live in the house 
below yours by cranking "woman's realm" at 3 AM?  Or would they 
fade amongst the obscurity of Shinjuku BDSM clubs and Toxitown 
Junky Queens?  would they end up in a smoke-filled club stinking 
of booze and body odor while 50 year old business wanked off to 
them while they gyrated and twisted and pranced on a rounded 
stage, their arms and legs bruised and holed with needle marks, 
their septums burned out and trickles of blood dripping down their 
face?

Sorry.  I am on a weird tangent right now.  I just finished reading 
the book "Coin Locker Babies" by Ryu Murakami, which is about 
transvestites and drug addicts and male/female whores and rock 
and roll stars and pole vaulters and a fashion model with a pet 
crocodile.  And Shinjuku, where I went one before, and will go 
again when I'm in Japan this summer.

Toodles.

Your Pal,
Rob

========================================================
"If your engines aren't revved up, then what you need is
a holy ghost enema right up your rear end!"
-Suzanne Hinn

"And remember, if New Jersey was made out of neutron
star matter, a teaspoon of New Jersey would weigh as
much as New Jersey!"
    -- James "Kibo" Parry

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