Sinister: It always comes down to the survival of the (wi)prettiest

[Laura Llew]

Miss Whiska whispered about Ruvi's Rambling of:
"I think the problem is that pretty girls do not make great thinkers."

After I read this, I looked out the window at the valley and mused... Wait, 
who am I kidding? I'm much too beautiful to be muddling my pretty little 
head with thoughts. In fact, I'm surprised I'm exerting myself to the extent 
of typing. However, I like the way my perfectly manicured fingernails look 
as they sweep over the keys, especially the delicacy of my pinkie as it 
attacks the enter key.

Llovely.

Of course, those less attractive seem to think that grace and poise such as 
this come without any work. Why I will have you know it takes hours of work 
each week from that rather large lady with softly permed hair to keep my 
nails like this. And underpaid masses sweat gallons just so that I might 
have the cucumbers that I soak in milk to lay on my eyes so that I might be 
able to stare at the world through the perfection which it sees when gazing 
upon me.

- Beauty is only skin deep.
- Pretty is as pretty does.
My question is this: If ugly people are the ones who are so clever, then why 
can't they come up with better sayings to make their pocked faces feel 
better about themselves?

Salinger. He might be smart. He refused to have his picture put on the dust 
jacket of Catcher In The Rye when it first came out. I wish some other 
authors would take this stance.  Of course, he also refused to have any 
picture put on the cover which is why you always see it as basically a plain 
white cover.  One of the English classes at the local high school just 
finished reading Catcher In The Rye. When one student came into pick up the 
next book (Slaughterhouse Five), they were complaining about the vulgarity 
of Salinger's novel. I curved my mouth into a pout. (You know to make it 
look as if I care.) I suppose I can understand. Why I had to stop reading 
"Midnight In the Garden of Good and Evil" due to the vulgarity. Well, that 
and the fact that I was beginning to have a sneaking suspicion that the 
transvestite was better looking than me. Green simply isn't my best color.

Enough of this chatter. It's beginning to make my teeth hurt. (Capped. $200 
a tooth.) I shall now do what I do best and squeeze into a short skirt and 
paste on my plastic smile.

Ready?
*stiff clap*
O!K!

Rah Rah REEEEEEEEEE!!!
If you haven't figure out what I'm up to now, then I have a lovely 
handcrafted mirror that you would surely like to look upon yourself in.

It's 2/22 and Marie Elia is 23!

Yes, that raven-haired beauty who is the wit of all things Sinister is 
turning another year older today. Of course, I would be remiss in my duties 
as a connoisseur of that which is lovely, virtuous (ahem), and of good 
report if I were not to post on this glorious day.

This year I went on a mission to find out why Ree is loved so much. I soon 
found that at the mere mention of her name boys become besotted and addled 
brained (though some would say that this it's difficult to tell the 
difference between this and how they act normally). Armed with a box of 
Kleenex, a yellow raincoat, and some galoshes - I bravely faced the 
droolfest to discover the reasons of such devotion that go far beyond her 
Hello Kitty earmuffs. The most reoccurring theme was the fact that Ree "had 
booty." Not only does she have it but she shared it with ALL of England 
which was ignorant of such things. Where the British had been up to their 
neck in bliss, they are now down to the groove with booty-shakin. According 
to unidentified sources, they're still trying to live it down. However, I 
think for their sakes that it was only an Introductory Course since I have 
heard no mention of "The Seven Degrees of Booty" or "Ghetto Booty." At 
least, she was that kind.

There was also a torrent of favorite, as Will Porter deemed them, Memo-Rees. 
Including -
Tofutti and tofutti cuties (the vanilla ones are the best)
The secret handshake
and my personal favorite Ree quote from chat:
Chele: I shouldn't say what song it is because I'll be dating myself.
Ree: I like dating myself. I have great taste in music, I'm cute, and 
there's no question about whether I'll invite myself up for "coffee."

Some of the answers I got I don't think can be covered by any explanation. 
Thus, I shall simply list them here with the disclaimer that was given to 
me: ***BEWARE because those who said some of these things are British, 
French, and feline. Therefore, they aren't good at staying clear of irony 
and rudeness.***

ANSWERS TO THE QUESTION: "WHY DO YOU LIKE REE?"*

1.  Ree is supah gorgeous and sweet and on TOP of the seat last night.
    A 130 kind of girl and reely cute and brave.
2.  She left shampoo at our house so we didn't have to buy any.
3.  Her name sounds like pee
4.  She wanks with intelligence and grace
5.  She spends with style
6.  She is un parapluie: curves, stripes, and sooo waterproof
7.  She knows how to write a tearstained letter to Sir William, a more
    tragic hand-biting has never been seen. (Oh Sir William, when will
    you return? My heart is ravished...)
8.  She's prepared to share her husband
9.  She almost tempts us to forget our awkward Englishness and say
    actual nice things about her because we love her and her comb-over
10. How she says "This station is *bermondsey*"
11. The way she leaves #sinister just a bit before she actually logs
    out of IRC so that those of us in the know can sneak in one last
    hug and good-bye
12. Her poetry is brilliant
13. She has this cute little frown when she is concentrating on
    something
14. She's going to write one of these for all our birthdays. Oh, we
    can't wait!

As Carey said of the list - "It's all from the heart" which means I must be 
really stupid since I had no idea that wanking had to do with one's heart.

Laura
'meeting all of your Laura Llew needs 4 months and 20 days before Ree began 
to meet all of your Maria Elia needs'
(I'm glad my demand isn't as high as hers)

*Contributed by & thanks to: Princess Honey, Curled up Carey, Electric 
Elena, Luscious Linda, Superstar Splat, Will - I don't believe comparing me 
to a Greek God qualifies as mentioning me- Porter, Red Rejector Robinson, 
Drowsers Trousers, Magnetic Megan, Julie Williams, Violent Velocity Girl, 
and AuntSadie.

PS- Apologies to Prissy Chrissy - who's input I would have loved but I was 
unable to get due to the fact he's now physically attached to Ree in New 
York
PPS - Thanks to Katrina who is absolutely awesome. I wish I had a copy of 
that sillustration of Velocity Girl taking down cupid while she has a 
cigarette in her mouth. That is oh so worthy of a frame.

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