Sinister: from out of the shadow shines glory and from out of that glory shines defete

[some random girl]

from out of the shadow i step to face all those before . . people i have
gotten to know, but do not know me.  is it some kind of perverse voyeurism
we lurker hold that able us to observe for so long without saying a word.  i
am not sure, maybe that or shyness, the fear of rejection, all these enter
into my mind as i unveil myself before you.  as i wonder what your re action
will be?

my days of shadow were driven from me by the insessant curiousity as to what
happens once you make that great big step out into the open, and make
yourself known.  i wonder how fast you will delete me from you screen.  for
once i do not have to control to do just that very thing.  cause to be
honest i do, all the posts the seem like they don't have any worth go down
the tube, good bye, see ya never, soon to be forgotten.  maybe that is
another great appel to lurking, in sense you have the god like ability to
tell who is important, what needs to be heard and what is pure shite.  so
here i sit opening myself to the delete button, wondering why you haven't
even pressed it now.

and my need for acceptance goes, and hope no one is too angry by my post.
but it does have some B&S content if you will just bare with me.  figure it
out, cause no one can tell you the sins of your heart.  and now you are left
to consider what is left.  do so and leave.

'Their conversation had been good.  Too good.  But it was time for her to
leave.
         "You're losing me ya know."  Her only reponse was his continued
silence.
         "It's not from lack of me trying."  She looked to him for a
response and only got his dodging eyes.  She got up to leave and mummbled
softly to him as she circled the couch.
         ". . .and it all makes me wonder why I even bothered."  She wonders
if he will understand but deep down in her heart she knows he had forgotten,
forgotten like everything else that was special between them.  Taking a deep
breath, hugging herself tightly, she turns her back and walks out.  All that
was left was to go home sleep and listen to 'belle and sebastian'.'

Once so many things, now, nothing more than anyone else,
        so many names, yet none seem to fit at all,
                        just call me girl . . .and I think we will be even.

-before i can survive you, i must first survive myself-
                    -marynard-

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