Sinister: the turn of the screw

[Lila]

Sinister,
    I'm one of those notorious list lurkers, but I've decided to come out
here in the sunlight for a while, because it seems to be a trend these days
and I have some questions I'd like to have answered.
    Today's topic is: being overwhelmed.  Not to overwhelm, because that's
way harder than to be overwhelmed.  This topic is not set in stone, mind
you, and I'll meander into other subjects and may also mention B+S, for
those of you who like square pegs to fit into square holes.
    I am constantly overhwhelmed.  I don't know if this is because I'm a
coward, or because I have a naive way of looking at things.  You know,
unseasoned eyes or something.  For instance I am overwhelmed  by the number
of people out there that I haven't met yet, the number of good books and
music I haven't appreciated yet, the places I haven't been to. But these are
temporary feelings that come and go.  What I think about are the different
possibilities in life.  I could be any person as of now, being young.  Who
to be? I end up choosing one path, and I guess that's alright. But I think
of all the other paths, and that is what makes me melancholy, a little bit
at least.  I know for certain I can't be specific things, such as a member
of royalty, and I can't be the president of the united states because I
wasn't born in the states.  Genes and fate have stopped me from these
things.  I can never have a bigger chest, for example. ha. naturally. My
mother says, quite seriously, that a lot of Japanese people like ourselves
don't have large chests because in the not-so olden times, Japanese women
would bind their chests very tightly in order to don a kimono.  What I want
to know is: what does it feel like to be truly beautiful?  I know
"beautiful" can be defined in so many ways, but pretend you know what I
mean. Don't worry abot feeling narcissitic. I'd like some input.
    Did you know that tonight is a full moon?   I saw it as I walked to
orchestra today.  I remembered the folktales about the rabbits that live on
the moon, and if you squint you can kind of make one out, a silhouette.
There are a lot of folktales I know about the moon.  My father says that
these tales are really true stories about alien encounters.
    I think this list is great. It makes me feel a little less overwhelmed
(#6 in this post) to read about other people's lives and know I've gained a
little more knowledge and insight.. (I think).  Randomly commenting on some
recent posts..  Blake, I think boys are weird.  Boys are much crueler than
girls, at least in high school.  It's Boys 1, Girls 0 all the time, on the
cruelty scale. Some are rather nice and cool, but some in my class are just
mean and poke fun at my B+S shirts.  Isabel,  isn't knitting fun?  It's the
cla-cla sound of the needle hitting needle which strikes me the most.
    Time for me to go.  shout-outs! to miles and eric and other people I
bother occasionally.  Have any of you heard the music of Floating Opera?
sweet gosh, they are good.
By Lila
.. lee + la





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