Sinister: in a good way

[IsabelLark at xxx.com]

I am in a great way today...I feel good, I feel like a brian jonestown 
massacre song or something. whatever the human equivalent is to a BJM song is 
what I feel like. For the first day in a month...Actually, it came about 
around November. But today feels a little better, and I woke up feeling 
better and for the  first time in nearly two months I realize that I am going 
to get better for the first time in nearly two months.

The hard part is always waking up. And I did remarkably well at that this 
morning. I didnt even hit snooze my standard 8-9 times...I didn't hit it at 
all. And I will tell you what else, if I wasn't nearly 30 I would go out and 
join the cheerleaders...thought I am not really into jocks...and I think 
banging them is a prerequisite or something. Anyway, moving on...cause if I 
start disecting that mentality it will just bring me down.

I hadnt realized that honey was a he, honey was referred to as "he"
in a recent mail... with a sweet name like "honey" and i agree the boys are 
always 1 to 0 with us...i just figured honey as a girl. maybe honey is a 
girl? in the whole big scheme of things it doesnt matter, especially to 
me...i fight for the hemopradites (sp) anyway...and we hardly ever get 
figured  into the war at all.

but i am not going to rant on about that either...it will only depress me.

i am up so early this morning...i am going to stop in for coffee at this 
little place near by...i never get to do this as i am always running 
late....but not today. anyway, there is this girl...and she has a crush on 
me...and she always makes my order so sweetly. and i dont have the nerve to 
tell her that i am not that sweet. i fear that she will stop giving me such 
great service. she makes the smallest small talk...and i could like her for 
that...but rats. i like boys for the most part. the irony of it is this...if 
there is such a thing as soul mates and that sorta jazz, then mine is 
probably a girl...and it would be ok. but i dont even believe in those 
soulful things anyway, so anyway.

i think like a boy most of the time. and i do indeed flirt with this counter 
girl...but i flirt with everyone...i like to think of myself as an equal 
opportunity flirter. however, i dont think i am gay...and i guess by my age 
one would begin to know...though i dont think anything is wrong with it, it 
just doesnt float my boat or whatever. so, why do i flirt with this girl that 
probably thinks i am about girls? you got me.

i cant think to much about this either, its just going to make me overanalyze 
the issue.

by the way, per my last rant...i am waiving the introductory fee of 19.95 for 
anyone that wants to join KATA. we are a very cutting edge group...its not 
for everyone...only an elite few (convincing you through reverse psychology, 
i am.) both girls and boys are welcomed.

i used to live next door to aretha franklins brother...i saw her in his back 
yard once. i said "hi aretha" and she waved. a clever moment all in all.

no new CD's to mention...but I have been listening to IYFS on repeat lately. 
except at work, where i am listening to my very own "best of b and s mix 
deluxe"

i have never heard the gentle waves. thoughts? suggestions?

before i forget, why do people think matador sucks? especially when there are 
so many things out there that genuinely do. it just seems odd that people 
would think that out loud. have they done something horribly wrong? i never 
read up on that sort of thing...i just buy music...and i know a lot of music 
that wouldnt be available to me outside of matador...so i am rather thankful. 
but i would still like to know about that loud mouthed girl in someones post 
saying "fuck matador" (hee hee) hmmmm...anyway.

well, i need to shower and look presentable. ah. life of the working class.

have a great day. i think i will too.

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