Sinister: ...forget my dreams... remember the first time...

[Rachel Playforth]

Q. what's the difference between job applications and sinister?
A. sinister doesn't ask you FUCKING STUPID questions like 'list 3 skills
which would help you do this job.'   that question made my mind go
immediately blank.  this company processes VAT rebate claims.  how do any of
my attributes fit in to that?  i don't think they want to hear about my
knitting.  and is it a skill, as such, to be able to file things in
alphabetical order?

and so it is that sinister has my jittery attention ce soir.  (i have
discovered that i am suffering from what zen buddhists call 'monkey mind'.
this basically means that i can't sit down to write meaningful, beautiful
poetry for more than 10 mins before i need to make a cup of tea/phone my
beloved/check my email/list all b&s songs in alphabetical order...)

paul said that he gets free coke at his new job.  i reckon my EVIL employers
would get a lot more out of people if they gave out subsidised drugs... one
of the supervisors downs barbituates all day but she has narcolepsy.  i
never met anyone else in real life who had narcolepsy - river phoenix in my
own private idaho carried it off a lot more sexily than she does, to be
honest.

i was thinking the best way to get contributions to my webzine off
sinisterines would be to run it as a competition.  there seems to be a
certain glory-hunting spirit amongst us... so whoever sends me the best
poem/story/review will not only receive the international fame that
automatically accompanies publication in buzzwords, but also huge p-r-o-p-s
on the list and a goody bag full of my unwanted xmas presents. currently in
the lead and laying down the gauntlet to veteran wordsmith alasdair cook is
greg... tune in next week for more exciting literary deathmatches.

yesterday i found my housemate in the kitchen carefully listening to
tigermilk, which i'd left lying around.  made me smile.  i should really
return the favour by trying to get into her music taste - modern jazz and
klezma (traditional jewish music)...  i think i have a real problem
listening to music without words for very long.  last night i tried an
experiment and listened to some beethoven cello sonatas while reading danish
philosophy. (no, i really did.)  but then i couldn't get to sleep because i
was worrying about the influence of kant's categorical imperative on
kierkegaard's thought... that kind of thing can really stress a girl out.

then i had a dream about my (other) housemate cutting my hair... this is odd
because *she* dreamed about cutting my hair a few nights ago... i can't help
thinking of samson and delilah and how maybe my spiritual strength resides
in my hair... and her cutting it has something to do with her going out with
my ex-soulmate (is this an oxymoron?) and plunging me into depression... or
not.

yours in middle class, shallow angst,

archel xxx

***************************************
Rachel Playforth
'She may not be famous, but she's right' - Homer Simpson

For the best in new writing on the web, visit www.buzzwords.org.uk
Contact us on buzzwords at bigfoot.com

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