Sinister: Check Your Bucket!

[Peter Miller]

I knew that headscarf must have had a secret
dirty
> reason. Was it to hide Stuarts semen after he wanked in her hair?
>

Thank you for this, Kipper, it was the highlight of my life so far.

But only because I wasn't at that U2 and Ash gig where Bono made Gerry Adams
and Frank "it's a cracker" Carson hold their hands up over his head like in
a boxing match with two winners. Of course it wasn't Gerry Adams and Frank
Carson, it was David Trimble and John Hume. I think. You must remember it,
it was on the news and everything. It's a little known fact that David
Trimble wanted to wear his Orangemen's outfit for the occasion, but Bono
dissuaded him. "But you always dressed up as a tomato on your "Pop" world
tour!" cried Trimble. "Look, if you promise not to wear your Orangemen's
outfit tonight, I promise to dress normally (apart from some orange
sunglasses) from now on" replied the quick-thinking Bono. And that is how U2
went normal again *and* made a major contribution to the peace process.
Isn't it ironic that U2 shoud be fiddling about with their mobile phones on
the cover of their new album, yet when their first album came out they had
to use walkie-talkies? Innit?

"Legal Man" was at number one in the prestigious Offbeat top ten of 2000.
Hurrah! It is my ambition to go to Offbeat.

Elenita99 mistakenly gave the impression that I was going to go to a bloody
Hefner gig. I'm not. But it has been raining. Raining like the very devil.
And I am looking forward to sampling Maria's fantastic cooking. I'm going to
eat so much that Hefner will be out of the question. That Darren looks like
he could do with a good square meal. Has anyone invited him? Jordi is both
tall and cute, especially when he's wearing his Gentle Waves "nudie woman"
badge. He is so tall that the badge on his lapel is at about eye level for
me, thus causing all kinds of hormonal discomfort. I didn't know Elenita99
was leaving us :-(

That Merle Haggard/The Pinefox sticker in full:

"I wonder, from where comes this newfound creativity...He's the old The
Pinefox, and yet he's grown. On these songs he flourishes."
-Johnny Cash

"It's great to hear The Pinefox in a very intimate recording and in such
fantastic voice. This is a great record."
- Elvis Costello

"Why was the Avon lady happy? Because The Pine foxed her!"
- Frank "it's a cracker" Carson

I think perhpas B&S, whether by accident or design, are going to do a REM,
whereby they don't tour after every record, they tour after every third
record, thus giving themselves a wide range of new songs to choose from. And
bear in mind that any future concerts are going to have to be without
brontosaurus bassman Stuart David, the rock upon which B&S have always built
their musical foundation.

Merle Haggard has got his name Tipp-Exed along the fretboard of his guitar.
Has he got a Tipp-Ex roadie?

Peter


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