Sinister: cold mashed potatoe,tractors,the canterbury tales and ornamental fish ponds....

[Desmond Torpey]

hello.....
....thought i would take time off from the giddy
social whirl that is my life and drop you all a
line...it'll have to be quick though...my silk
hankerchiefs havnt been pressed for tonights cocktail
gathering,the maid has run off with my yacht and tara
palmer tomkinson is lying on the lawn face down in the
ornamental fish pond....the above statement may or may
not be lies.....
....i'm having lovely dreams about running down every
member of the A level exam board in a large
tractor..its *ARGH* mock exams in one week and i can
safely say that the last eighteen months of college
has passed through me like an undercooked chicken
korma...i know nothing....but when youre studying
chaucer i dont suppose that matters..anyone who has
ever had the misfortune to read these paticular works
of english will sympathise...oh how the teachers try
to sell it to you as tales of murder,debauchery and
lewd sexual conduct...in truth they understand as much
as their bewildered students.... example:

o leeve sire shrewe, Jhseu shorte thy lef!
yet prechstow and seist an hateful wyf
yrekened is for oon of thise meschances
been ther non othere manner resemblances

..theres a packet of slightly melted maltesers for
anyone who can find the sexual conduct in that...or
indeed understand a word...i'm sure its a very
interesting story and the language is very
beautiful...but come on now....
...hmmmmm...square dancing...i had similar
experiences....shivering in your indecently short
shorts and wishing that you would be paired off with
that paticular days most beautiful girl..fickle is the
mind of an eight year old...the fact that the hall
used for PE was also used for eating lunch and that
the lesson was always directly after the feeding
frenzy took away the romantic atmosphere somewhat...it
was extremely hard to dosie doe when you were in
danger of treading in cold mashed potatoe at every
twirl..hmmmmm.....
....content? i'll make a vain stab...just to say that
i have really grown to love FYHCYWLAP in the last week
or so...in my humble opinion it beats the pants
(although very chraming pants they are) off
TBWTAS...and its the best washing up album in the
world...ever!....yes this may sound strange but
searching for that last elusive teaspoon while 'womans
realm' plays is an experience not to be missed...or
maybe my life needs more meaning...probably...but
hey..i'll be playing a live gig in just over a month
and i'm ridicolously excited...and very,very
scared...i'm considering wearing some kind of mask to
hide my blushes if i play the drums like a fool...or
animal from the muppet babies...i'm far too innocent
to talk about the undoing of bras so i'll be going....
ta ta!

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