Sinister: if you're looking for a way out

[kerry]

hello sinister
i've decided to come out of hiding for several reasons.

reason #1: if i may be so bold, i'd like to say that "swing your cock 
around" is hilarious. thank you, mark waudby. i had my own addition 
earlier today, but i forgot it. all i can come up with is "screwing 
other people," which really isn't that clever, now is it? there's 
always "you made me forget my panties," which isn't so great, either. 
sorry. how about "if you're feeling my sister"? the problem is, so 
many of them are dirty out of context already. case in point: the boy 
with the arab strap, don't leave the light on, baby, me and the major 
(or, as once misheard, "me and the midget), seeing other people, judy 
is a dick slap, and the list goes on and on and on and on . . . and 
you can only insert "wanking" into so many before it gets old.

reason #2: i'm so disillusioned. do you want to know why i'm 
disillusioned? because i saw a chrysler ad tonight playing the jesus 
and mary chain's "happy when it rains". bah, that sucks.

reason #3: tonight while walking my dog (why does this always make me 
want to post?) i decided to wear my nifty faux fur coat and since the 
only shoes by the door were my platform boots, i wore those, too. so 
what could i listen to but gary glitter "do you wanna touch me 
there," which has a perfect glam R!A!W!K! beat for walking in 
platform boots while wearing a faux fur coat. but then, oh then, i 
forgot that the next song on my mp3 player is tindersticks "if you're 
looking for a way out" which was bad enough being so depressing (yet 
so good, i couldn't skip through it), but it made me miss school. 
well, it made me miss driving from western massachusetts to 
philadelphia via the bronx because the last time i did that i was 
stuck in this nasty nasty traffic and that song (actually, that whole 
album) played while i sat in my car, occasionally creeping forward a 
few yards. so that made me miss my friend steve, from school. you 
see, some time before that steve had a tumultuous relationship with a 
girl who worked in the aquatic birds area of the bronx zoo. so, 
sitting in my car, listening to sad love songs, right next to the 
exit for the zoo, i was about 3 micrometers away from getting off the 
highway, finding the zoo, and kicking her ass for being so mean to 
him. so i wanted to post to sinister to vent. so now i have.

reason #4: i'm happy, because people i work with like belle and 
sebastian. the only problem is, they have no clue what i'm talking 
about when i say "twattybus," because they're not on sinister, and i 
forget that sometimes. so then i feel awkward and dumb and that's 
really too bad. and i'm mad at the NME (am i the only person who 
realizes that if you say "NME" fast enough it sounds like "enemy"? 
i've been meaning to mention that to somebody somewhere for years) 
for making remarks about belle and sebastian not having put out an 
album in a long time. what?!?! was i dreaming when they put out 
FYHCYWLAP last spring? did i sleep for several years or something? 
ahhhhhh, fuck 'em.
here's a joke: a man and a woman are at a party, having a nice 
conversation. somehow the conversation turns to beekeeping. the man 
says "oh, i keep bees." the woman says "really? where do you keep 
them?" "in my apartment," he says. "in your apartment?" the woman 
says, astonished. "where do you keep them in your apartment? you were 
just saying that you live in some cramped studio in manhattan." "i 
keep them in my closet," the man says. "in your closet?! that can't 
be good for the bees," the woman says. so, the man responds: "fuck 
'em, i hate bees."
i love that joke.

and even without the joke, this post took me well over 15 minutes to write.
oh, and last but not least, i love you honey, for being so good at everything.

you've made me forget my dreams, for at least a little while,
-kerry
-- 

  "`Cos in my sleep I still clench my teeth
I'm at my strongest only when I'm weak"
	                         -tindersticks, "piano song."
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