Sinister: Like Marmite, Like Fertilizer

[P F]

Edna returned, and had nothing to say save about that
Hurst stuff. Welthorpe (la), the world of loggers and
theatregoers is hanging on your every other word! Pick
up the pace here! I mean, when la Welthorpe last
posted to sinister, those were different times. The
boy Cook was still at 'school'. Sabre-toothed tigers
roamed the land. Emile Heskey was coming into form, or
going out of it. Can't remember. Christmas was coming.
Orton hadn't been revived, but plans were afoot.
George W. Bush was a simian right-winger. Belle and
Sebastian were due to appear on a Xmas record.
chickfactor was produced in New York. Papercuts was
produced. Was it?
I'm not sure. So, the thing is, people have been
rattling on about the Welthorpe situation ever since
that first Bracknellesque intervention. They want
more.

MacArthur returned, and said something like 'They're
not terrible, more so'. That sounded apt; I'm not 100%
sure whether she meant it or not; I liked what she
said about generic clattery bands on somebody's
'website', anyway.

Casarotto returned, and I wondered where he'd been,
and why the Pinefox made him think of 'cocks'. That
seemed unfair to me. A low blow, in fact. Plus, why
does Cazza not want to relive the concerts in his home
soon? Did the smoking-jacket put him off?

I'm still toying with this soundtrack thing. The
trouble is, their people and my people. It's about,
you know, money. That's the trouble when you start
dealing with money - there's just so much *money*
involved. When it's involved, that's when you feel
your money.

Anyway, I thought that this next bit could benefit
from a duet by la Welthorpe and Casarotto, perhaps
singing 'Put A Little Love In Your Heart' (Al Green /
Annie Lennox, 12.88; hm, what was that record actually
called, again?) on the jukebox in the background. What
d'you reckon?


-----------------

JOE                     What do you think would happen
                        if I got him a
professional…you                         know…

BILL                    A professional?

JOE                     Hooker. You know, the kind
that
                        can teach things…first-timers,
                        you know…break him in.

BILL                    But Joe, he's 11.

JOE                     You're right, you're right.
                        It's too late. He is…what he  
                        is. Forget I said anything.

BILL                    Maybe you ought to discuss it 
                        with Betty.

JOE                     I can't. I can't talk to her.

BILL                    Hmm. That's a problem.

JOE                     Things aren't too good between
                        us…

BILL                    Not too good.

JOE                     No.

Pause.

BILL                    Are you…?

JOE                     No.

(a beat)
                        She's a dyke.

BILLY and JOHNNY approach.

BILLY                   Dad, can Johnny sleep over    
                        tonight?

BILL                    Well, that's up to Joe here.

JOE                     (pause) Sure. Whatever.

JOHNNY AND BILLY        Yeah!!!

JOHNNY and BILLY hold each other as they jump for joy.

JOE                     (to himself) Like girls.



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