Sinister: Gigs, picnics, beach parties...

[Gardiner, Stuart]

Well quite a bit has been said about the last week's various shenanigans.
But sod it, I'm going to add to it with my tuppenceworth. Well, actually
it's quite long, maybe it's about threepence worth...

SCARBOROUGH:

Oh my God. Fabulous, fantastic, mind-blowing, awe-inspiring. But enough
about my dancing already, what about the gig?

Various people had picnics on the beach beforehand. Well actually, there
were about 5 separate mini-picnics going on at once, so if you were at one
of the other ones, hello. And we did try writing "Twee Roolz" in the sand,
but it didn't work very well. The Futurist Theatre is literally over the
road from the beach, and is one of those places which advertises shows and
films above the doors. So the sign actually said "Tonight - Belle and
Sebastian. Tomorrow - Get Over It"...

Normally, I wouldn't expect a good atmosphere in an all-seated venue; but
hey, this is Yorkshire now. After a storming Pastie to start with, before
playing Too Much Love, Stuart asked if anyone wanted to come down the front
and dance; naturally, about a hundred of us charged down the aisles, and
tried to copy Stuart's pixie dancing. The management got a bit upset about
fire risks (if it's a fire risk to have people in the aisles during songs,
how the hell are you supposed to get out of the building in a fire?), so we
all got sent back to our seats, and just danced there instead (so apologies
to whoever was sitting behind me and Amy! Still, it serves you right for not
getting up and dancing yourselves...). And by the end when they finished
with Women's Realm followed by Legal Man (complete with about 500 people on
percussion), we all just charged the stage. One ambition realised then - we
actually managed to get a moshpit going at a B&S gig! And a seated one at
that... For the cover version slot in the middle, Stuart came out into the
audience to ask what we wanted. I did ask him for Scarborough Fair, but he
said if they played that, there was a man at the back with a rifle who would
shoot them for unoriginality... So they settled on Summer Holiday, mainly
because Stevie played the opening chords just before asking what anyone
wanted to hear... The band really seemed to be enjoying themselves, even
when Stuart forgot the words to Dylan In The Movies (again!); and with
Stevie's voice in a very fragile state, I'm sure he wasn't helped by having
Stuart go down on one knee in front of him to put him off during Wrong
Girl... Stuart finished the gig with the words "For a Tuesday night in
Scarborough, you lot are fucking amazing", and we all felt exactly the same
about them.

After the gig finished, and a brief sojourn to a pub (during karaoke night,
never a good plan...) we joined the party on the beach, attempted and failed
to throw a frisbee in a straight line, had a wrestling match, spoke to
various interesting people, dug ourselves deep holes in the sand to try to
get down to the same height as Katrina, and tried to figure out how we can
afford to get to Rio...

So hellos to Jon and Liz who came in my car, and a big hello to the
delightful Amy who was sitting next to me.

PRESTON:

I suppose after such a wonderful evening the day before, this was always
going to be a bit of a disappointment. That's not to say that they weren't
very good - just not quite as mind-blowing. It may have been partly due to
the band's hangovers, but it was more that the atmosphere wasn't as friendly
- more locals, more neds, less real fans. And there's absolutely nothing the
band can do about that. It sounds like a real indie-snob thing to say, but a
gig's just not as enjoyable when there's 3 or 4 blokes standing next to you
with a bottle of vodka persistently singing along to the wrong bloody song.
If they had taken a long walk off Scarborough pier, everyone would have been
happier.

As for the band, Isobel had her hair in pigtails, which was a relief because
the previous night she had looked alarmingly similar to Sarah. Richard was
the centre of attention - he was really nervous because he'd always wanted
to play Preston Guild Hall (admittedly he wanted to play in the snooker
tournament there, which may excuse the jumper he was wearing). Quite why he
always plays the drums with a face like he's giving birth is a mystery.
Sarah's parents were there (she was chatting to them in the bar beforehand),
so Stuart didn't sing the last few lines of Arab Strap. Aah, bless. Cover
versions were the theme from BBC's Snooker coverage (played by Mick on the
guitar, because Stevie didn't know it) and a Rolling Stones number which I
can't remember the title of, sorry (I think he said it was off Sticky
Fingers) which coincidentally was the first song played over the PA after
the band left the stage. Stuart did try inviting someone onto the stage to
dance, but when the bloke tried, a bouncer leapt out of nowhere and carried
him off, much to the band's annoyance. Sightings of Chris and Sarah in the
bar afterwards, as well as more old-school Sinister types than you could
shake a stick at.

LONDON:

When I turned up at the pre-gig picnic, there was already a football game
going on featuring Stuart M and Wee Chris, amongst others. And more to the
point, there was lots of drinking going on (well, Ailsa was there, what do
you expect?). We all went on a 5 mile hike to find a pub, had one drink, and
then came back again, because Honey and Honeyetta had turned up, amongst
others. Then came the moment of truth - entering RAH. I spent the next hour
alternating between oh-my-god-i'm-in-the-Royal-Albert-Hall and
oh-my-god-the-drinks-are-expensive-in-here. I ended up about 5 rows back,
fighting off annoying Australian women, and looking round thinking
oh-my-god-i'm-in-the-Royal-Albert-Hall. Needless to say, the gig was
fabulous, almost up to the standard of Scarborough.

At half-time, two blokes with microphones and comedy wigs on (I think one of
them might have been Neil Robertson, but I was too far away to see), who
were in a box at the back, started slagging off the band in a Muppets style
(after later discussions, we think the two old blokes in the Muppets were
called Waldorf and Statler?), and saying that the singer was rubbish, anyone
could do better. So this was Stuart's cue to head off the stage round
towards their box, where he asked if anyone from the audience had ever
wanted to sing at the Royal Albert Hall; and he plucked three Sinister-types
from their seats and brought them to the stage. After a few bars of The
Final Countdown, Lorraine (and later Stuart as well) gave a stunning
rendition of The State That I Am In.

The setlist followed much the same as before, with just the three new songs;
Magic Of A Kind Word and My Girl's Got Miraculous Technique in the first
half and I Love My Car (described by Stuart in Scarborough as a Dexy's
Midnight Runners sounding song) in the second half. After Legal Man (which
sounds infinitely better live), the band left the stage, and the Muppets at
the back started talking again; along the lines of "Boo", Hiss", "That Was
Rubbish", "Actually it wasn't that bad", "There were parts of it I quite
liked", "It was good", "It was great", "More!", "Encore!". At which point,
the band re-emerged, complete with Monica Queen (who is much smaller than I
imagined for someone with so strong a voice, and who spent most of the song
flinging her arms behind her back like Shirley Bassey), singing LLPJ. Then
the finished with a cover of Everyday People, which they had started the set
with in Preston.

At this point I would like to apologise to anyone who was behind me (as
always!), to David Moore for my voice intruding onto his tape, to whoever's
foot I landed on when I was dancing, to Archel for taking the piss out of
her new haircut, to the people camping at the side of the hall queueing up
for Cliff Richard tickets for laughing at them behind their backs, and to
anyone who tried to speak to me afterwards because I was completely
incoherent and babbling with excitement.

Saturday saw a second picnic happening on top of a bloody big hill in
Greenwich. I claim full credit for scoring the white shirts' first goal, and
no credit at all for the fact that we still lost. Lorraine made us very
jealous by talking about the after-show party back at the band's hotel, and
Starry Sarah spent the afternoon torturing innocent young boys.

Then we all trooped off to the DLR to get to the Camera Obscura gig at the
Spitz. The support band sounded like Ride, which is not a good thing. But
the main attraction were very impressive - I've not heard them before, but I
was convinced to try and track down some of their material. There then
followed dancing and drinking until the wee small hours, and the startling
realisation of just how similar Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazlewood's song
Summer Wine is to the verse of Dog On Wheels - let's hope their lawyers
don't find out, I wouldn't fancy taking on any of Frank Sinatra's
connections. Those in attendance included (in random order, and forgetting
many more than I remember) Carsmile Steve, Starry Sarah, Cresida, Ailsa,
Honey, Honeyetta, Big Gay Mark, Miss Vicky, Lixi, Liz Daplyn, Martin, Wee
Chris Geddes, Stevie Jackson, and Stuart Murdoch. And probably lots of other
people who decided to avoid me because I spent the whole weekend going on
about The Whitlams and how great Scarborough was. Fair enough really.


Katrina asked me on the beach if my faith in B&S had been restored; I think
it probably had been by the new EP (I don't care what anyone else thinks, I
believe those three songs are as good as anything they've ever done), but
they've certainly never been better live, and Scarborough was as good as any
gig I've been to in my life. See you all in Birmingham tonight then...

Big Stu
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