Sinister: Magic of a fine bird

[Ken Chu]

Hello,

They say winner at the poker table, loser at love, it's true!  Ever since I
became broke I've been having sex with so many girls, it's unbelievable,
every night I slept with a different girl.  I don't think I can listen to
Belle & Sebastian anymore, it's just wrong, I'll listen solely to Craig
David from now on.  Sorry I'm bragging now.

I went to my graduation ceremony today and it was very interesting in an
extremely boring way.  In fact, it wasn't interesting at all.  Although
there was excitement as I went on the stage and totally blanked the
chancellor of the University by accident (who has a big fuck off pole made
out of gold) cos I was giggling so much and forgotten what I was supposed to
do.  Oops.  I only found out after I got off that I was supposed to bow to
the guy.  Oops.

But I have my degree certificate now so he can take his big golden pole and
shove it.  Our beloved Robin Stout was in the same ceremony too!  But
according to the announcer he didn't manage to finish his degree, only his
brother "Robert Stout" did.

My dad told me beforehand that we would have to leave the University as soon
as the ceremony was finished because he had to go visit his friend
afterwards, which works to my favour because I can't be bothered with photos
(although we still took like 802349), and I can get home quicker.

But my dad never told me that his friend lives in HULL!

For Friar tuck's sake that's like 200 miles from where we live!  And as soon
as he got there he got himself royally pished, and I had to drive him and my
mum home at midnight, I thought I was meant to be the one getting wrecked,
maybe it's my new responsibility as a grown up, now that I sleep with a new
girl every night and everything.

Sex and Red Bulls
Ken
P.S.: I bought Jonathan David the other day I think it's great.  The best
part is that a lot of you know me and already hate me to my guts, so I can
say whatever and you'd still love me more than you did before, cos it can't
get any worse.

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