Sinister: riding on bournemouth buses for a hobby is sad...(delete this if you don't like self-pitying rubbish)

[Joe Vester]

...like me. Bournemouth was fun but I was on my own and am very shy so 
hardly talked to anyone either. Felt a bit lonely. Couldn't go down on beach
as had to go back to London which, again made me sad.
    The 2 people i did talk to were two girls I met beforehand, just outside
the conference center. They asked me how much my t-shirt cost and I said
£14, that being what it did cost. Them and me then got a bit lost finding
the pavillion and I hardly said anything due to almost clinical shyness. I
wish I had and that I had got to know them better. They were the one in
green that Struan put in charge of the people on the stage and her friend,
in case you were there. I really liked them but I'll never see them again so
there you go. I wish I wasn't so bloody shy. Just in case, if you asked a
lost-looking boy in a fidddlychlap t-shirt how much it cost, it was me and
hello.
    Now, Bournemouth gig was v. nice and was very good and frankly, that's
as far as my reviewing skills go.
    Before I went to bournemouth, I went to the R!A!H!, which I enjoyed a
bit more frankly. I bought all 8 posters and my fyhcywlap (it's a small town
in Wales) t-shirt. I also bought an Ampersand t-shirt at Bournemouth. Got
back to London from Bournmeouth at about 1 o'clock in the morning and found
a message from my friend Anthony who said he would meet me at 8:52 the next
morning for the train to Chessington South. I met him there as he said and
also met my friend Edwin. The three of us then went off to chessington world
of adventures which was fun but would have been more fun with some female
company.
    Ant and Ed are geeks. They're nice and I like them but they are totally
unaquainted with any girls. Going to a single sex school doesn't help them
aquainted with any and neither does being very, well, geeky and unpopular.
Thought about trying to start conversations with some nice people, which I
can be occaisonally very good at if I get over my shyness but didn't see
anyone who looked insecure and interesting enough.
    Got home and had a bath and went to bed at around 5 in the afternoon as
I had not got to bed before midnight for 5 days or so. Got up this morning
feeling shitter than ever. Realised in a horrible fit of 11 o'clock truth
that all the girls and boys (with one or two exceptions) I've ever counted
as friends have started really boring me and any recent attempts at getting
new friends have failed miserably. Loved Lazy Line Painter Jane at the RAH,
by the way, as I don't own that record and haven't ever heard it before.
Never heard La Pastie... before either and loved it.
    Wish I could spend today lying around and phoning up peole to tell them
that I can't stand them but have to help at my mum's "guild of food writers'
annual summer party" but i'm getting paid for it so I'm happy. Apparently
some other people's children will be helping too so maybe I'll be friends
with them. Part of me  wants to wander around going up to people who look
nice and about my age and saying "will you be my friend?". Will anyone on
Sinister be my friend? Please? I really need some Human contact and would be
happy with talking to anyone new.
    Sorry, I sort of hope that nobody read that but I needed to get it out
of me so...
    Probably won't see anybody soon,

Joe
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