Sinister: I teach them all to be dirty girls like you...

Mon Jul 9 14:08:37 BST 2001

Well, the tour's over (I do enjoy starting posts by stating the blindingly
obvious, it saves me scaring people off reading them until at least the
third line). Some thoughts.

B&S are better than ever live. I realise not everyone agrees with me on the
superb brilliance of the latest EP, but this is certainly no time to desert
them for pastures new. The gigs were excellent, I met loads of lovely
people, made new friends, and met up again with old ones. Despite being
rat-arsed for most of the weekend in London. Hope to see you all again soon.
Mr Moore, do we take it that the new Spanish-sounding song they played in
Ipswich wasn't the same new song they played in Birmingham? The Birmingham
one appears to have been the one with the 40-piece orchestra on the recorded
version, possibly called I'm Waking Up To You, although Stuart did say they
hadn't decided on the title yet. But it sounded potentially superb, whatever
it's going to be called. On the Beat Patrol programme that B&S did for Radio
Scotland back in '97, Sarah choose Queen's Don't Stop Me Now as her song,
and then went on to say that she would love to see Stuart dancing around the
stage with a mic stand in a Freddie Mercury style, complete with
pyrotechnics; looks like she got her wish...

The venues all seem to have been old-style theatres instead of more
traditional gig venues. Quite why this should be I'm not sure; the problem
with these venues has been the over-zealous security guards (with the
honourable exception of Ipswich apparently), but there's not much the band
can do about that. Likewise, there's not much they could do about the
acoustics at the Albert Hall, but then I thought they sounded fantastic that
night anyway from where I was standing (i.e. about 2 feet above everyone
else in the crowd...), and it's still worth playing there for the special
atmosphere of the place. I'd like to see them play outdoors on their next
tour (maybe they could headline one day of Nottingham's City in The Park
next year, and they could choose the other bands on the bill that day
themselves?). Oh, and did noone go to Cardiff? We haven't heard anything
about it yet!

I'm far from convinced about having a comedian as their support act. Fair
enough, the band members must like him, and he was quite good; but they must
realise that many fans are going to go to several gigs on the tour, and
seeing the same comedian do the same routine 4 times in a week just doesn't
work as well as it would with a band. And Isobel, cheer up! You're sitting
on stage in front of hundreds of adoring fans who've paid to see you play
the beautiful instrument between your legs, you could at least smile while
you sit there and stroke it. Maybe she should copy Richard's comedy facial
expressions...

Incidentally, since people keep going on about Isobel's arse, and whether
it's too big, too small or just right, maybe a picture should be put onto
the bodyparts page so everyone can decide for themselves?

Brazil. There have been a few people talking and rumouring about B&S playing
a gig in Brazil later this year / next year. Well, let's get this out into
the open; according to the management on the beach at Scarborough, they will
soon be playing in Rio De Janeiro. This is not confirmed, so don't get too
excited just yet, and please DON'T EMAIL NEIL (OR ANYONE ELSE) ABOUT IT!
It's probably no more likely to happen than when they were planning on doing
a tour of Britain by hiring out a boat for a couple of weeks a few years
ago, and that never happened, so don't get your hopes up too much just yet;
but we were told it from the horses mouth. So watch this space.

Dreams. I suppose it was inevitable that after all the gigs recently, B&S
would intrude into my nighttimes as well. It was after a show in Manchester,
I was hanging around after the gig, when the band came back on and played
some more songs for the thirty-or-so of us still there. First they played
New York, New York because they thought it was appropriate (obviously?),
then Brown Sugar, Suspicious Minds, and a few others. Somehow I ended up
standing next to Chris while he played his organ. The cello which I'd taken
to the gig (as you do?) got smashed. And two girls who looked familiar (but
I'm definitely not telling you who...) asked if I wanted to come back to
their place after and said they liked me and we could "get quite close, if
you know what I mean". Unfortunately I woke up a bit too soon...

Looks like I'm going to have to stand up again for the rights of tall
people. The way we are treated is shameful. We are fed up with having
shortarses push past us to the front at gigs. As an
economically-disadvantaged minority group (have you any idea how much it
costs to get shoes in a size 13?), we feel our rights are being compromised.
If this continues, there'll be riots. And the police will have to erect
extra-high barricades to stop us.

Thank you Llllllllaura Lllllllllllllew for the best subject line for ages,
and a post to match. Remember, the Jonathan David single is available on
mail order from listees in Britain, and the commission charged isn't
financial...

Big Stu

Wishing Scarborough could happen all over again...
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