Sinister: Robin's Record Repairs

[Robin Stout]

I mended my record player yesterday with tape and wire and glue. It even 
plays in stereo now. My left ear's never heard anything like it.

Katrina, like a space angel, flew from planet Jeepster with glad tidings. A 
new single and a new album (soundtrack) in autumn sounds nobbing marvellous. 
Well, hopefully they do. And it is Belfast Bob on the Jonathan David cover 
and not A BIG GIRL.

Archel wrote;

>i can combine it, you see, with
>witnessing the swan song/last gasp of the now defunct comedy troupe >formed 
>by university 'friends'.

He he. At least *someone* will be laughing.

I heard a swan song once. It wasn't very good. It was all about fish and the 
trials of having a long neck. And those plastic things that hold beercans 
together. The lyrics were fine but the tune was just a load of quacking.*

Proof that I might actually be a twee fucker after all...

A lady came into the petrol station to buy some biscuits. She was smartly 
dressed, but wore three button badges, like the B+S 'bus stop' badges but in 
green. I took this as a sign of rebellion. The badges, for a reason I 
couldn't understand, all said 'third' on them.

"I like your badges", I said. "Where did you get them"

I should have recognised the look of bemusement.

"Oh these? I got them at my son's sports day."

"Oh I see."

"He came third"

"Hmm... Are these your biscuits?"

Do I really live in a world so far from reality as this? So that the first 
thing I imagined was that she was a fan of some band called 'third', and her 
badges were as rebellious as she could be as a dentist's secretary? Oh dear. 
I've never been twee before. I don't think I like it very much.

I love peanut butter. And marmite too. But both together would be nasty. My 
sister reckons that if you drink milk and orange juice mixed together you 
are automatically sick. That's not a rumour it's CHEMISTRY. Honest, my 
sister's seen it happen.

Robin
xx

*Actually I made this up. Do swans quack anyway? Geese honk. Before horns 
were invented they used to tie geese to trams and pull their feet whenever 
someone got in the way. Oh no, sorry, I'm doing it again. Bye
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