Sinister: Reporting Back

[Peter Miller]

TROUBLE AT T' MILL

I had no idea Genova had a seafront. The Two Gentlemen of Verona must be
thrilled to bits!

BASS! HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?

After much consideration, I have decided to go on blindly believing that the
perspex bass once belonged to Phil Lynott. A bit like that girl screaming
"MICHAEL IS INNOCENT!" at that Jacko demo, back in the day.

3 FOR 10 POUNDS

Customers who bought WHITE TEETH also bought THE HIDING PLACE and ENGLISH
PASSENGERS, both of which were much better than WHITE TEETH.

NICE PRICE

JOHNNY CASH AT FOLSOM PRISON is better than JOHNNY CASH AT SAN QUENTIN.
Merle Haggard's BIG CITY has got some nice tunes on it. I Always Get Lucky
With You, for example.

SPECIAL OFFER

At first I thought AALIYAH wasn't as good as SO ADDICTIVE by Missy Elliott,
but it has slowly revealed itself do be an altogether darker, more brooding,
complex affair, a terrifyingly bleak window onto human sadness. Mind you,
I've only listened to the first track more than once.

MISS, I'M STUCK

There must have been something else to Report Back on, but I can't remember.
I enjoyed George W. Bush's speech to the troops in Kosovo. Let's face it,
life would have been a lot duller with Al Gore. George really knows how to
appeal to the man in the street. I've started to really cheer up whenever I
see him. If I was a dog, I'd wag my tail. Of course, I'm not on deaf row.
The troops were like puppy in his hands.

DO PROMOTION AND TV

Thank you to everyone who's been digitally manipulating my work to the top
of the charts at www.badosa.com . My Editor has very sensibly suggesting
reducing the number of paragraphs, so as to improve "cognitive immersion".
Quite what clockwork water heaters have got to do with it is anybody's
guess. But there are now fewer paragraphs.

ASHES TO ASHES

Speaking of Editors, Mount Edna has erupted! Edna now has four active
craters spewing forth molten lava! Clearasil, Edna, Clearasil!

ASK ASPEL

PF, it seems obvious to me that Bush refers to ladies' pubic hairs, Fox
refers to foxy ladies and Putin is latin for "prostitute". Sonic Boom is
from "Spacemen 3". Buggles were like Jonathan King and ruled the eighties
pop scene like a silver-trousered colossus. I hope this answers your
questions. I saw David Trimble on the television the other day. Quite
interesting, quite calm and collected, but every now and again there's a
hint of the umbrella brandishing firebrand of yore in his eyes. Grand
footage, that. Grrr! I'll umbrella you!

I'M GONNA ROCK WITH YOU

You  know how we were bemoaning the lack of bite in Stevie's guitar solo in
Middle Distance Runner? Well, I've noticed that the most famous gutar solo
in the world, Eddie Van Halen's contribution to BEAT IT by Michael Jackson
could do with a bit more oomph as well.

Can I go now?

Sister Disco


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