Sinister: life-size models of the velvet underground

[Kirsten Kenyon]

  this is something that has been bothering me for awhile, and i hope 
i am not alone...please, someone reassure me that i am not an 
uncultured swine.  unless i AM, in which case please, someone tell me 
the truth so i can retire from my artistic endeavors and start 
learning how to be a trucker.
        i always giggle at conceptual art.
  it's happened for years, and it happened four hours ago.  i just 
don't see how people can step into a room draped in balloons and 
electrical tape and nod knowingly.  there was one room in which there 
was a television playing a tape of two boys dancing and 
singing "ragtime gal" in a manner which suggested some level of 
inebriation.  the boys on the tape were smiling at times, so i 
thought maybe it was okay that i was visibly fighting to suppress the 
wild bursts of laughter building up inside.  but then i looked around 
and nobody else was smiling at all...and stony-faced strangers 
nodding at the ragtime gal performance made me want to laugh all the 
more.
  i am not a loud or excitable person, but for some reason i cannot 
keep my composure in these situations.  am i intimidated? am i 
overwhelmed?  am i naive?  or is it all just bullshit?  
   i'm thinking i may have some pretty good art right here: leftovers 
 from my infamous gesso phase, during which i painstakingly coated 
many of my personal belongings with multiple layers of thick white 
gesso.  i am now the proud owner of what emily calls "the avant-garde 
tool kit," including a smooth white hammer and a tape-measure which 
is now useless because i painted over the numbers.  but it wasn't 
supposed to be artistic, i was just bored and felt like wasting 
gesso.  anyway, i apologize for the length of this post, but i know 
there are gobs of people on this list who are far more artistically-
minded than i am, and i am hoping someone can either sympathize with 
me, enlighten me, or advise me to stay the hell away from conceptual 
art so as to avoid future embarassment. luv luv luv
  kirsten
quote of the evening:  "i hate art.' -scott


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