Sinister: A summer falating

[James Thorniley]

Hello...

Sorry about the subject line. I thought of something witty, honest, but I 
forgot it. So instead I thought of the first lyric that came into my head and 
put a rude word in it. I did a search on "falate" on Google to check I spelt 
it right and got some Blink 182 lyrics - to a song called "When you f*cked 
grandpa". Hehe.. they are a super shit band. I'm not going to pretend I like 
them cos they're "just so funny". They're not funny, they're shit. The video 
to "Hello" by Lionel Ritchie is *funny*.

Ahem..

I hope i'm not unpopular for appearing happy. I'm miserable really honest.. 
so anyway.. picnic. The London one that is.

We had lots of fun and drinking. There was guitar and recorder playing as 
mentioned. My recorder rendition of Judy and The Dream of Horses was crap 
compared to Mark's Boy With the Arab Strap. I was apparently out of key as 
well.

I was selling charity raffle tickets to all the twee sinister saps at the 
picnic. I'm sorry if you felt I was preying on your sappyness, but I was 
suckered too.. I was only selling them because someone randomly rang me up 
and said "Would you like to sell some raffle tickets", and I said "Yes" cos 
I'm like that.

I'm also sorry if I left any litter after I left. I had to leave early 
because I had to do some work with a friend and I worried later that I might 
have left some beer cans there and maybe a tuna cucumber sandwich box, in 
which case I feel very guilty. I normally clean up after myself, but it was 
all a drunken haze.

In spite of this it was a great picnic... the best bit's being

the four stringed guitar, which belonged to someone, and associated hippy 
singalong
mark playing my recorder through his nose
the strawberries and cream, though I only had strawberries
the non-haribo sweets fruit salad (haribo is evil, apparently)
the shade
staring at people as they arrived to intimidate them

Having a pretty girl in Superdrug is becoming awkward, I'm going to have to 
find an alternative reseller for my embarrasing anal wart cream.

I used to play recorder in church. I got to grade 5. A girl from school I 
don't know very well once asked me out of the blue if I was still playing the 
recorder, and at first I didn't know what she was talking about because I'd 
forgotten I ever did. I asked her how she knew and she said she remembered me 
playing in her church, which is fucking weird if you ask me. I think I left 
my recorder on Primrose hill.. oops. If you picked it up thats very sweet and 
you can keep it and play it through your nose to your hearts content as a 
prize. If not it is now property of the hill, and therefore recursively 
probably belongs to the queen, so she can entertain us all by playing it out 
of her nose, but I bet she can't play it out of her arse.

I'll shut up now.. right after I've spent a paragraph explaining how I'm 
going to shut up...

James xx
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+